Thursday, December 18, 2014

I Have the Best Boss

We had our semi-annual staff retreat today and we accomplished a lot in a short amount of time, then we were all given gift cards and told to leave for the day, no more working.  So at noon, my carpooling buddy and I left and I took my gift card and just spent the past two hours splurging on boots and jeans.  I needed the jeans, I did not need the boots.  I love having money to burn...and that was part of the deal of the gift card, she told us we had to spend it on ourselves.  So now I'm at Barnes N Noble...my favorite place to be when I'm alone.  When I'm done here, I'm going back out shopping a little more, spending gift cards from my husband's family (thanks guys!).  So today is like my Christmas morning, since us adults typically don't have much going on as far as gifts under the tree.  They wouldn't fit next to Jane's and Abby's.  They were spoiled this year.

Also, I ran 5 miles last night, randomly.  I forced myself to go out for the run but didn't have a set amount of miles in mind, and for me, 5 miles is definitely a rare (and far) distance.  The furthest I've ever run is 6 miles, one time, there's a blog post about it in my history here but I'm too disorganized to go find it.  I don't think I've run over 4.5 miles more than a few times ever, like, in my life.  So I'm really impressed with the fact that I can just randomly decide while I'm running that I want to go further, and that I am capable of running for that long and that far without stopping to walk.  I never thought I'd be able to do that.  It's awesome.

Afterward (since the girls were already in bed and the husband was almost ready for bed), I curled up on the couch with tea and a new book.  It was a great night.

Now I'll finish up my lunch and head back out for more shopping :)

Damn, I love the holidays.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Busy busy busy

I feel like I've used that title before.  Eh, oh well.  It's true again.  But it's a really good busy.  For one thing, I have been keeping up with all my various must-be-dones for Christmas.  I've still been writing the book, I'm totally caught up with jewelry (what an awesome feeling for this time of year), we've had Christmas cookies two weeks in a row, lights are up outside, the house isn't in total disarray, etc.  I've been listening to audiobooks and podcasts through a lot of these chores/tasks, which is definitely a big reason why I'm not resentful of how much I have to do.  I have actually enjoyed cleaning.

One of the audiobooks I'm listening to is Unbroken.  I finally started reading it after finishing Goldfinch so many weeks (months?) ago.  I've heard so many good things.  People have told me it's a quick read, I'd get through it so fast.  And after starting it in the hard cover...then dragging through to the point where I felt like I was forcing myself to keep going, I found it on my kindle.  I thought, having it more available, I'd get into it more and get to a part of the book where I'd feel like I couldn't put it down.  That didn't happen.  I finally broke down and found it on Audible.  I've been listening to it for over a week, reading it for over a month, and I have to say...I really hate it.  The writing is just awful.  I really don't get what the big deal surrounding this book is all about.  I mean...the story of this guy is definitely honorable, I'm not saying anything against the recounting of this man's hardships, and all of the hardships of the POWs in World War II, but the author's annoying attempt to sound clever sentence after sentence is making me want to rip my hair out.  So that's my rant for this book...I've been wanting to get that out for a while now.

So I need to start running more often.  I'm still going on at least one weekend run, but I need to fit a couple more weeknights in...and I've been slacking.  Holiday cookies, egg nog, candy canes, and cereal mix aren't really helping me fit into my jeans either.  I probably need to go have another cup of egg nog now.

Good night :)

Friday, December 12, 2014

Happy Holidays!

I've still been working on my NaNoWriMo book...I have about 20-25,000 more words to write before I can wrap up the full story but I'm feeling good about it.  With work and jewelry, right now has been busy...but between the week of Christmas and New Years and for a few days after New Years, I will have a lot more time.  I'm off work from 12/24 at noon until January 5th.  I have a few things to finish for jewelry but I will be done this weekend and almost completely caught up.

All in all, I'm feeling pretty excellent right now.  It's the holiday season, I'm finishing up a book, I'm caught up on jewelry (and I was even in the newspaper for my jewelry!!) I'm exercising (not as much as I should be, but enough that I don't feel too guilty), I'm thoroughly enjoying all aspects of my life.  It's a great feeling.

With the New Year coming up, I've been considering ideas for resolutions.  I want to try writing more short stories next year so my plan is to do a short story one month, then try to get it published the next month.  So January, March, May, July, September, November would all be writing months and then February, April, June, August, October and December would all be try to get published months.  And then generally editing one of my two manuscripts (probably the one I wrote a couple of years ago), while also looking into sending out queries for that book.  That's my writing resolution.

My jewelry resolution will be to get the things added to my shop that I want on there, like the white copper charms and other varieties of white copper keychains.  I seriously love working in white copper...and the firing of it so far has been 100% successful, which makes it my new favorite metal clay.  Plus it looks just like silver after it has been fired, so I can sell it as a much more affordable alternative.

For health/exercise, I want to do more yoga (a resolution that keeps getting renewed), mediate more (another renewal), eat more vegetables and less crap.

For family I want to do bedtime stories every night (we're bad with this right now) and work on more fun learning activities for both girls after school and on weekends.  At least something every day.

That's probably good, right?  I love resolutions.

Happy Friday :)



Monday, December 1, 2014

NaNoWriMo Winner!!!!! :)

Yay!!! I did it!!! I finished my 50,016th word at Barnes n Noble yesterday afternoon during one of my regular writing times.  I was glad the month started on a Saturday and ended on a Sunday...kind of perfect for writing (especially for those of us with M-F jobs and children).  I'm so happy with what I've accomplished this month and though I know I have at least 30,000 more to go before I've completed the full novel, I feel totally confident that I will have my second full manuscript complete before the end of the year (that's my goal).

Thanks for keeping me accountable!








Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Day 25

I'm SO close!!!  I mean..I still have at least another twenty or thirty thousand words to write to finish this book, but still, 50,000 in a month is a feat.


Monday, November 24, 2014

Day 24

Woohoo, less than 10,000 words to go!  I can't believe how far I've come already.  It doesn't really feel like it was a sacrifice at all...which is great!


Sunday, November 23, 2014

Day 23 - Back on track

I've caught back up and am a tiny bit ahead again.  Woohoo!  And we haven't even made it to the long weekend yet.  My office is closing on Wednesday at noon, so I plan on driving straight to Barnes and Noble to spend over four full hours there.  I'm pretty freakin excited about it.  I never count on afternoons like that though, anything could happen.  One of my daughters could get sick, I could get sick, some work thing could pop up...but I now have 3 flex days to take before the end of the year, so I'll keep that in mind if the afternoon doesn't work out.  I can just plan to take a day off the week after Thanksgiving.  Maybe I'll take that Monday off?

Time for bed for now...


Saturday, November 22, 2014

!!!!!!

I just got to Barnes N Noble for my weekly writing session and the most amazing thing happened!  There's a girl sitting by herself with a macbook and I'm nosy and saw the screen and recognized it immediately to be Scrivener!  So exciting!  And I'm sure she's doing NaNoWriMo because she's on Chapter 17, and so am I (because if you do the typical average of 2,000 per chapter, that's where you'd be (about) on this Day.

I'm a wimp so I haven't said anything, plus I keep wondering if I'd want some random stranger coming up and interrupting my progress if the situations were reversed.  So I just sat behind her with my iced coffee and rice krisy bar.  I'm not reading over her shoulder, I promise, but that's only because I can't do it without looking super blatant.

Anyway, I came here for a reason, so I need to stop stalling.

She's being way more productive than me.  Whole grande coffee done already.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Day 20ish

I'm still doing this, I swear.  I had a jewelry crisis the other night so I didn't reach my word count goal that day, then last night I fell asleep writing so I came up short.  And tonight I only got to 1500 words, so I just can't get back on track here.  But I'm determined to do better this weekend.  I don't have as much jewelry to work on and I have my new trusty Samsung Galaxy Note 4 to help my productivity (I just got it set up tonight...hence the reason why I didn't write as much and I'm going to bed at 12:30...I'm going to be exhausted tomorrow!).

Look what my husband got me:

Such an awesome gift...super excited about it.

Only about 17,000 words to go before I finish my first ever NaNoWriMo!!

And I have a 4 day weekend to work on it (we live too far from family to have any plans other than a nice dinner just the 4 of us..ie, lots of writing time, so I'm not concerned that I won't be able to finish this).

Okay...bed time.  
 Yesterday^^^



Today^^^

Monday, November 17, 2014

Day 17

I'm really really loving this experience, and the book I'm working on.  Which at day 17 is probably a good sign.  Up until this month I've only ever tried writing young adult and this project is making me wonder if that's not the voice I'm meant to be writing.  It could just be the amount I'm writing everyday, but I've been thinking about my project a lot more throughout the day now than I remember doing with the last manuscript I wrote.  And I'm thinking about it like I think about a good book I'm reading.  I don't mean that to sound vein or presumptuous...I just feel like I'm connecting more with this type of writing than anything else I've done up until now.  So I'm excited to look back and reread what I've accomplished this month.

So here's yesterday's part 2:


And today's totals:

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Day 16

I plan to stay up late tonight again and Steve goes on a work trip tomorrow so I should be able to make time to write after the kids go to bed for the next few nights.  I'm still on track...even if I did fall behind a little...


Saturday, November 15, 2014

Day 15

Work and jewelry are my excuses.  But I'm busting my butt to get back on track, so cut me some slack...


Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Day 12

Really really really tired...


Got up at 3:45 this morning...let my house at 4:30 to drive to the airport.  Flew to Los Angeles for a training in Donor Perfect Online for work...then flew back to Phoenix and got home at 9 this evening.  Bad parts...I had to bring a breast pump and pump in the trainer's hotel room (awkward, right?), had to be away from the family all day (couldn't nurse Abby this morning and made her stay up late so I could nurse her to sleep tonight), plus getting to flights on time and all that stuff stresses me out.  But I had some time to write while waiting for flights and sitting on planes.  So that's good.  And now I'm going to bed.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Day 9 Parts 1 and 2

I had kind of an awesome day with the writing.  Hang on a second.  This may have been the fullest day I've had in every regard of my life, ever.  Recapping..I woke up (terrible night of sleep), made a list (detailed down to the time in which I needed to get everything done), started...
Nursed Abby
Picked out photos for Abby's spotlight board at daycare
Had breakfast and wrote for about 20 minutes
Went for a run with the dog (3.1 miles)
Took a shower
Vacuumed
Gave Abby an early lunch
Nursed Abby for her nap
Went to Barnes n Noble and wrote for an hour and a half
Went to Walmart to pick up the photos and other various items
Got home just in time for Steve to leave for work
Cleaned, mopped, put away dishes, made the spotlight board collage thing, folded clothes, got some finished jewelry sanded and fired in the kiln, nursed Abby, played with Jane, gave Jane a bath, helped Steve put away groceries he picked up on way home from work, pumped, ate dinner, nursed Abby for bedtime, finally sat down to read for fun (Unbroken...finally), half watched an episode of Homeland, then finished out the day with another 2 hours of writing.

Wow...
Part One:
 Part Two;




So now I'm going to bed.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Day 8


I fell a little behind yesterday, having written only 932 words.  Today I did my regular amount of around 1700 then realized I forgot to put my words in from yesterday, so that chart is a little off.  Whoops.  My bad.

And tonight I'm feeling pretty great about my stuff so far.  It's a roller coaster, one day I'll feel like I do right now (I'm the best writer on this planet) and other days (most days) I'll feel like I should do everyone a favor and stop this ridiculous time-consuming hobby.  There's really rarely any in-between days.  I guess the in-between days are the ones where I'm not doing any writing.  I feel like I should be writing, but I have no strong opinion about the quality of the writing I produce.

So right now I'm writing more than I've ever written before (except when I was really pushing to finish that book a couple of years ago) and I'm feeling (so far) pretty good about the quality.

Hopefully I can keep it up.

Good night :)

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Day 6

Finished early today.  So tired.  Didn't reach the goal for today but close enough:

1519 words tonight...


Tuesday, November 4, 2014

What the hell??

I'm typing along...feeling pretty good about the quality of my stuff...when suddenly it's like the backspace on my keyboard is stuck.  Over 200 words were deleted by the time I just closed out of Scrivener and restarted my tablet.  I still don't know what happened, but I suspect it was just a random, very poorly-timed glitch in the tablet.  I couldn't get the on screen keyboard to open at all, no matter what program I was in.  So I had a pretty ridiculous delay tonight in my writing, but it woke me up so I was still able to recover (rewrite) the jist of what I had down originally and reached my daily word goal.  But seriously...what the shit?  I couldn't be more annoyed...


Monday, November 3, 2014

I am exhausted. Day 3.

I'm sure I'll get better at staying awake to write at night.  For the first time (from what I can remember) I wrote out part of a dream I started having about sponsors at work.  Wrote the word sponsor into my book after saying it in my dream to my boss.  That was a fun kind of first.  I got a second wind, but only after eating a small meal consisting of junk food (a blow pop, lightly salted Lay's potato chips and a box of dark chocolate yogurt covered raisins...I feel slightly sick now and I'm only barely keeping my eyes open, but it got me through my goal word count so I guess the calories were worth it?).

So here I am on Day 3...


And it's only 11:15.  Maybe a later cup of coffee will help tomorrow night?  I had a cup tonight but it was over 5 hours ago.  I really hope I don't gain 20 pounds this month using food to keep me from passing out on my keyboard.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Day 2


I plan to do another 500 or so this evening...maybe more.  Going good so far!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

Friday, October 31, 2014

Fridays are my favorite

Especially when they coincide with Halloween.  My boss let us leave at noon today to prepare for the evening and I've been thoroughly enjoying my time.  The three hours of work I did before lunch were productive and went quick, then I stopped in to visit my husband (so I could store my pumped breastmilk in his office fridge...didn't want it to sit in the car all afternoon), drove down to babies r us and got some last minute halloween costume items for both daughters (Jane is going to be Elsa and I'm dressing Abby up as Olof...I'm pretty excited about it).  After the halloween prep was accomplished I came over to the Barnes N Noble shopping area...first I walked down to Ross to see if there were any amazing deals on shoes or electronics (there were not), then walked down to Best Buy and window shopped all sorts of fun android devices (more preparation for the Note 4 I'll be getting in what feels like a year or two).  Started contemplating getting a Galaxy Tab 7.0 someday (I have absolutely no need for it whatsoever but I guarantee I'll be thinking up all sorts of reasons why I can't live without one in a few months).  Finally came into Barnes N Noble and checked out their book bags, journals, new books and saw that they have their own version of the Galaxy Tab 7.0 with some nifty Nook widget added on.  I'd buy that.  Anything to support my favorite store.  Maybe for my birthday...And if you were wondering, yes, I know I have a problem.  There are probably support groups for my particular addiction but I am not ashamed of who I am.

So NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow.  I'm sort of prepared.  I've outlined what I want to write and when I want to write and I'm only worried about my own wimpiness.  I've written an 80,000 word manuscript and there were many days where I'd get in over 2,000 words in a day but they were never the norm.  My usual daily word count was about 500 and to complete NaNoWriMo I plan on having to hit 1,750 each day.  That's a lot.  I'm afraid I'll know right off the bat if it isn't going to happen but I don't want to let myself think of the possibility that it can't be done.  Obviously I know it can.  Thousands of people with just as busy lives as me will be doing this.

I'm going to just dive in and keep going...not allow myself to overanalyze or overthink the story/character development.  It might be a disaster or it might be exactly what I need to get back on track with this.  And I have to say, staying up the past few nights to outline and read and kill time have been extremely refreshing.  You'd think I would be exhausted in the morning but I'm in such a better mood than normal.  I really believe making that extra time just for me is something I should have been doing for a long time now.  I get two extra hours (albeit semi-drowsy hours, but conscious ones all the same) to do the things I love to do.  It hasn't been a chore at all.  Which makes me chuckle since I actually mopped the kitchen floor last night at 11 in an attempt to get a second wind.  It worked...I was up until midnight reading NaNoWriMo support forums.

Wish me luck...I might only be stopping in to record word counts over the next few weeks.  And hopefully I'll remember to post a photo of the kids in costume later.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Note 4 Preparation

My husband and I are waiting a ridiculously long time to get our new phones.  I'm so mad about it.  I blame the iPhone 6 and Apple.  He ordered it from the Verizon store, which is essentially ordering it online, so the estimated shipping date isn't until November 14th.  The Note 4 is ready to ship already, but because we're starting a new service, we're pretty sure they're shipping them together.  And the idiots in the Verizon store all seemed convinced that I'd get my phone right away regardless of whether we're starting a new service.  I've got no actual proof that they're wrong, except that it's been a week since we placed the order and I should have received it by now, and because of the fact that the order status ambiguously reports that our order has been received and will ship on November 14.  First off, there are two phones so I wish it'd specify that in the details, if there were details, which there aren't.  I just want my new phone.  I've been stalking it online for months now.  I'm so sad I have to wait another two weeks because of Apple.  Damn you Apple.

So I got a case for it:

 
Couldn't do without the wallet feature...and this one was the most similar to the incipo ones I always get for my iPhones.  Unfortunately, this one only has room for two cards, but I'll have to get used to it. 

And I got a new running/fanny pack:

I'm hoping the phone fits in it.  It's a really big phone.

So one of these days I'll actually get to use the damn phone.  I just saw a commercial for it...advertising the camera.  I'm such a dork.  I can't help it.

Time for the baby to nurse/go to bed.




Wednesday, October 29, 2014

One of those nights

Not a bad one...a great one.  One of those nights where I accomplish some of the more unreachable goals I have a habit of setting for myself while also not feeling miserable in the process.  I ran for 4.5 miles, and even though my legs felt rebellious most of the run, I made it through and finished feeling great.  Watched an episode of Modern Family with my husband, then showered and now here I am, back on the couch with a cup of peppermint tea, wearing slippers and a sweater, fully prepared to come up with some good conflict in my book while my family sleeps.  Why the hell did it take me this long to start staying up later than everyone else?

Last night I was able to keep my eyes open until just before midnight.  I used that time to get roughly 13 chapters outlined (you know, two sentences per 'chapter' representing over 2,000 words each, so I'm expecting some deviation when I actually go to write the thing).  I then finished reading The Goldfinch.  I had a mini mental celebration afterward, then drifted off to sleep without even a hint of insomniacal (I'm sad that's not a real word) thought.

Chocolate chips cookies and peppermint tea go surprisingly well together.  Like a mild peppermint patty flavor.

Alright, I'm already tired...time to get something accomplished with the book idea.

Then on to reading Unbroken.  I don't think this staying up late thing is going to be difficult to turn into a habit.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Almost November

I drank some coffee tonight...I want to see how late I can stay up working on an outline for the book.  Steve goes to bed around 10, so I will stay out on the couch with my tablet/keyboard and plot out a plan for the project I want to do for NaNoWriMo.  I'm excited but also nervous.  I have to write over 1600 words per day to accomplish the month.  Really, it's okay.  I get to write every day..I'm doing this for myself as an investment toward my future writing self.  It's something I have to do.

I should probably get some melatonin so I don't end up with another bat of insomnia like I did the other night.  It's not something I normally have an issue with but since it's all a mind thing, I'm afraid that now that it happened (a full night of no sleep) it's definitely at a higher risk of happening again.  Especially considering I'm changing things up.

Ughh, even with the coffee, I feel like I'm ready for bed.  Too bad.  I'm gonna suck it up and stay up until at least 11.  And by then, I'll probably be wired and won't have any trouble staying up until midnight.  Then hopefully I won't have a problem falling asleep, ha.  I need to go for a run tomorrow night.  I should have done some form of exercise yesterday but I had to get up early for my daughter this morning (she had that ct scan...I'm still not too worried...she hasn't been doing it as much since Steve got home).  I also had that second opinion dentist appointment yesterday which was excellent.  I had a deep cleaning, which was a pretty spot on example of my own personal hell, but I survived and they only suggested I get 4 fillings...which was awesome considering the other dentist suggested two crowns and 9 fillings.  I'll save thousands of dollars going to this dentist.  Hopefully my teeth don't fall apart, or out, but I'm much happier with this dentist.  And I hate the dentist.

Wooohoo, Steve is going to bed now...I'll get an early start on this project.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Rough 24 Hours

I went to bed last night at 9:30 so I could get a good amount of sleep before waking up at 4 AM for work.  Unfortunately, I never slept.  It started as that annoying mind-racing issue, then continued to spin out of control to the point where I was laying on the couch at 2 AM reading, hoping to tire myself out for an hour or two of sleep.  I gave up at 3 AM and drove to the zoo since I heard some people might actually be getting there at 4.  I figured if they didn't get there until 5, I'd just resume my pathetic attempt for extra sleep in the car in the parking lot.  They got there at 4, so I was able to help out and worked until our event ended at 11.  After lunch, I was able to finally get a couple hours of sleep, only to be terrifyingly jolted awake by the fire alarm in our house going off.  Husband baked pizza in the oven and claimed that it melted and burned.  If you ask me, the universe just doesn't want me to sleep.

Time to go backup my iPhone and save my photos so I can switch to the Note.  Exciting stuff!  Bed early tonight due to last night's fiasco, then I'll try staying up a little later tomorrow night to prepare for my upcoming writing schedule.

I ran last night outside with the dog for a quick 5K.  He was exhausted at the end...needed the exercise for sure!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Crap!

I've written every day for a month and a half and I just randomly forget to write a post yesterday.  Steve got home, that'll be my excuse, but it's not a good one considering he fell asleep on the couch at 8:30 and I watched TV and went to bed an hour later.  There was no reason for me to neglect this other than just complete mindlessness.  Damn it.

I'm in Barnes n Noble for the first time in over a month writing in my journal, which is what made my mind make the connection that I forgot to write a post.

Have I mentioned my plan of staying up from 10-midnight to start writing?  It's going to be rough for a little while, it'll take some getting used to...I was tired enough for bed last night at 8, but I'm prepared to work at it and I hope my body just adjusts to it and it becomes an easy habit.  I just can't think of any other time to fit it in, and I'm sitting here watching people read and write and work on homework and there's no place I'd rather be.  And I want to do this forever.  So it'd be nice if I could eventually do this for a living.  It's extremely unlikely, I know, but I don't care.  It's what I want.

So...NANOWRIMO is less than a week away and I've never done it before, but it seems like a good time to dive in and try it out.  Here's the thing...with both my desire to start a new project and my need to make a habit of writing every evening and wanting to make the 10-12 thing a habit, it just seems like the perfect time to try accomplishing the 50,000 words in 30 days.  What's stopping me?  If I sleep until 6 or 6:30 it's a smaller amount of sleep than they recommend, but I really don't have any other time of day to do this.  And it'll be my corner of the day...something I do for me...so I don't foresee it being detrimental to my health or anything.

Maybe I should go look into NanoWriMo strategies...and sign up on their page.  Gotta say, I'm pretty psyched.

Coffee after dinner...that's how I plan to make this happen...in the beginning at least.  And I have my trusty awesome 8 inch tablet (Asus VivoTab) with the great Zagg keyboard and OneNote program to jot down ideas on my soon to come Samsung Note 4...I sound like a commercial, I know, and it's a little disgusting, but I love gadgets.  In a serious way.  They have always been something I've loved so I'm pretty thrilled with the fact that so many of them exist now and they're so popular in general.  I was the type who wanted a calculator watch, because who wouldn't want the ability to easily multiply 124 by 7 on your wrist whenever you need to?  I wasn't even the nerdy math type, I just liked the thought of how convenient that would be.  Of course, I had one and barely used it.  Then I begged my dad for a cell phone back when they first came out.  Begged him.  Because how awesome would it be to be able to call my friends wherever I was?  I was only 12 or 13 and had maybe one or two friends, but that didn't stop me from wanting one so bad.  Imagine my delight when the iPhone came out...and then the iPad...they created more competition too, so everyone is stepping up their game, hence the fact that I'm switching to Windows tablets and the Note 4 Android phone.  And I'm an adult now with the same giddy craving for gadgets and the money to buy them with (irresponsible purchases, yea, but I don't get pedicures or highlights in my hair, or massages, so there's that).

Time to go over to the NanoWriMo page.  Wish me luck.

I also need to run tonight...it has been 6 days since the last time I've exercised...almost a record for laziness.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Today

I took my 9 month old for her checkup this morning and told the PA that she has been tilting her head to the side for a few weeks and during the checkup she said she was fine, perfect baby, no worries.  Then about three hours later I got a call that she wants her to have a CT Scan.  She wants to make sure there's nothing major causing the head tilt.  She isn't worried but now I am.  It's probably nothing but how can I not worry now?  It's extremely obvious and a constant thing, she tilts to her left whenever she's sitting upright.  So my lovely, adorable and extremely mild tempered baby girl will have to go through this weird test...is it the one where they put her through the brain scan thing?  And it's not the first time she's had to have a test to see if she has a rare issue.  When they did her newborn screening she was flagged for CF and had to have a sweat test.  One of those moments where I cried for hours worrying she'd have a diagnosis that could give her a shortened life expectancy.  Ruling out these possible scenarios like a brain mass or a disorder that can affect her quality of life is wearing on me.  My beautiful little girl, she's fine, I know, and this will probably turn out to be nothing but I hate being this close to wondering if something terrible could happen.

So my husband gets back tomorrow.  Finally!  It's been tough, being a single parent of two kids...props to the parents that have this lifestyle on a regular basis.  Strongest people ever.

And I'm exhausted.  It's bedtime.  Big work event coming up.  So tired.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Two Days

My husband will be home Friday afternoon!  The 4 weeks is almost up, finally!  And our 4 year old wants to make cookies for him so I have to remember to help her with that tomorrow night after school.  I'll be leaving work early on Friday to get him, then we're going to look at possibly switching our cell phone service to Verizon (since it's a rare opportunity where we're both available and our kids are at daycare), then going to pick up the girls.  I have a work event on Sunday, so the weekend will be short, but it's extremely early on Sunday and I hope to be home by lunch time, so I don't feel like the weekend is a total loss.

I haven't made a decision yet about the writing but I'm leaning towards starting a new project so I can work on character building, etc.  And I've been slacking on the running/exercise.  I should have worked out last night, but didn't, and then don't plan to tonight, so I need to run on the treadmill tomorrow night...maybe after the cookie making?  Why aren't there more hours in a day?

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

What to do...

Part of me wants to start a new book from scratch, write something totally different from what I typically do, go as fast as I can without dwelling or overthinking any of it.  Another part of me wants to go back to the book I finished, wrap up the last rewrites of the first two chapters and edit the entire manuscript a third time, and the last part of me wants to continue on the project I started several months ago--a project I really enjoyed working on and I see a lot of potential in.  There are pros and cons to each option...I'll add them here:

Starting something new
Pros
Cons
Starting fresh is really enticing
Could very likely just end up added to the ever growing list of unfinished projects
I really want to dive into character building and starting fresh could help me learn and practice
I feel like I’ve tried this a million times
Of the three choices, I like this one the best (is that a pro? I guess?)
I’m so busy with life and jewelry and work, especially with the holidays coming up—since this con will go on all three lists, I probably shouldn’t even list it here









Finishing EP Manuscript
Pros
Cons
Could get ready to send out to agents again
Am I wasting my time on something I’ll never feel satisfied with?
I could finally get it right
It always depresses me with writing, makes me feel like I should just give up this dream so working on it might be toxic
Could get published




Finishing Newer Project
Pros
Cons
I really enjoy the plot and world and idea
Keep hitting walls with the plot and wondering if the whole thing is going to work
I’ve already got it all outlined (for the most part)
Discouragement from ^^ makes me want to stop working on it
I’ve been working on the idea for a while






Ugh...just trying to come up with the pros and cons list sucked all the energy out of me.  Since I'm now exhausted, I think I'll take advantage of it and go to sleep since I've been having trouble falling asleep the past few nights.  And since my dog ate my dinner already tonight, I don't have to feed him his.  Great, there's a silver lining in everything.  Sadly, the above pros and cons lists didn't help me determine which I'm going to choose.  I'll revisit the issue another time.  Good night..

Monday, October 20, 2014

Books

I have been reading the same book for at least the past two months...maybe three.  I'm a little embarrassed about it, actually.  It's The Goldfinch.  It's really great, but it's one of those books that has the kind of writing that makes you visualize minute details with just a few well chosen words, puts your mind so it's like you've experienced the moment personally or like you're seeing it happen in front of you.  And when I read books like this, I read slowly.  It's harder for me to skim quickly through a sentence when I'm trying to play the scene in my mind.  And even though I love the book, I kind of can't wait to be finished with it.

Sometimes a long book like this makes me want to read and read forever (like Harry Potter) and other times the story mixes depressive details in and this one happens to really lack anything uplifting.  Since I've been reading this I've also listened to several audiobooks on Audible.  It's easier for me to get through a book when I'm listening to it because I have so many more opportunities to make progress in it (on walks, driving, making jewelry).  I listened to that Cathy Yardley "Write Every Day" book...and the book from the TV Show Castle (Heat Wave...a ridiculously cheesy but entertaining read) and I am pretty sure I even made it through Stephen King's "Mr. Mercedes" in the amount of time since I started reading The Goldfinch.  Then I tried starting another literary one a week or two ago (Cutting for Stone, which I've heard great things about and will read...at some point) and decided I needed something else.  So I downloaded one of the more recent Nora Roberts books with this month's credit (The Collector).  I just needed something fun and lighthearted...something I would want to keep turning on while I'm driving or cleaning and make me enjoy those times rather than just helping pass the time.  I'm going to read "Unbroken" when I'm done with The Goldfinch...I have a borrowed copy that's due back by the holidays and I scoffed at the idea that I'd need that long but now I'm starting to wonder if I will have it done in time.  Ridiculous.

So I will go start my nightly routine of getting the baby ready for bed and reading The Goldfinch while I nurse her to sleep.  Wonder if there's any great twist at the end?  I'm at 90% (about) so I feel like I'd see it coming by now.  It better have a decent ending.

Good night..

Sunday, October 19, 2014

So Sad it's Sunday Night

I hate this time of week more than any other (most weeks).  Tonight is no exception.  It was such a terrific two days.  A few hours ago I completed my fastest run ever.  Sub 10-minute mile 3 miles in a row.  Finished in 29:49.  I had the treadmill set at 6.2 mph for the first 2.5 miles, then turned it up to 6.3 to finish the last half.  I think the first minute or so really screwed up the finish time because I have to slowly work up to full speed or the thing starts slipping.

My husband and I spent about an hour today figuring out what we want to do about our cell phone situation...we think we're switching to Verizon, which makes no difference to me.  We've been on AT&T for forever.  Since back with they were the only ones that carried the iPhone.  God I'm old.  I think one of the things that makes me feel even older is that I feel like 10 years isn't that long (I was remembering something from when I was 21 and my first reaction to that thought was that it wasn't really that long ago).

Okay, I'm too tired tonight to write anymore.  I wrote today...two days in a row!  Working on a new new first chapter (third attempt at rewriting the beginning...adding a little meet-cute...hoping this one sticks).

Good night.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Best Day Ever

I went to the gym again today...shockingly...and it'll probably be the last time.  They felt so bad for screwing me over like they did that they offered me another 2 weeks of free trial gym visits.  I had to explain the whole situation to the manager on duty today because she didn't read her email from the other manager that offered me the additional two weeks and I just don't want to deal with having to rehash the whole thing every time I go to the gym...while I stand there with my kids at the front desk, people signing in behind me like I'm a charity case.  So that's enough of that.  I had a good time while I was there though...got a good workout.  Then we came home and I had renewed motivation to work on the book I wrote a couple of years ago (really?  it has been a couple of years already??).  I have a new plan with it and just need to get started.  Kids took a nap while I worked on jewelry (finally).  When they woke up I played pleasantly with my 4 year old in the yard while the baby watched us and giggled from her car seat.  Then we walked to the grocery store where I bought cheese curls, a frozen pizza and ice cream.  On the walk home my older asked if we could watch Frozen while we ate our snacks.  I thought that was a great idea so I put it on while we ate cheese curls and the baby played in her jumper.  Then it was time for pizza so I dragged out the princess toddler table and put it in front of the television, we watched while we ate dinner.  Then I made a deal that we wouldn't have ice cream until the big snowmonster started chasing Ana and Cristof (sp?) out of the ice palace.  As soon as Elsa created that guy my girl said ''can we have ice cream now?"...so we did.  Afterward we finished out the movie with both girls on my lap.  It was perfect.  The whole day.

And now I'm watching a movie I rented called 'Like Crazy'...it's not bad so far...the female protagonist is an aspiring writer, so you know, I like it.

Plus I have a huge appreciation for this keyboard/tablet combo I've got going on now.  It truly makes my tablet feel like a laptop and still allows for the convenience to disconnect the two in less than a second.  I've been using it almost nonstop.  So I'm feeling extremely satisfied with life at the moment...and my husband gets back in less than a week.

I love adding wonderful days like today to my memories.


This photo was from the walk we took last night..

Update from an hour later...

That movie was one of the horrible dreaded ones with no ending.  I HATE when a movie ends without closure.  HATE it.  It's lazy and unoriginal and extremely annoying.  

It was still an amazing day,  I'm the luckiest mother in the world and I can't wait for more days like today with my girls.  But that movie was stupid.





Friday, October 17, 2014

Mercury is in Retrograde

Yes, I sound crazy, but hear me out.  A friend of mine at work said this to me a couple of weeks ago and it has been in the back of my mind ever since.  Especially with all of the annoying little things that have been making me crazy since my husband left for his four-week training.  My whole family came down with a terrible bug that kept us out of work/school for about 4 days...I signed up for a gym plan that backfired and I thought was resolved but wasn't (they called me today and we had a battle about the refund, which I won, but only after an hours worth of stressful negotiation)...the keyboard situation...and a thousand smaller things that deserve more than just this short call out but I don't have all day and my recall is worse because I've been actively trying to forget the little things these past few weeks.

At least ^^this happened and was pretty darn adorable.

I'm impressed with the way Google put a bunch of my photos together without me doing anything but take a bunch of photos in a row.  

So I can't wait until October 25th...because Mercury isn't going to be in retrograde after that.  Maybe I'll be able to salvage some sanity until then.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Gilmore Girls

So I worked on jewelry...sort of...I should have done more, but I didn't neglect it, so I don't feel bad about it.  I edited the fingerprints I received, which was daunting, and was probably the thing that kept me from getting started.  So that's where I stalled, but it's ready to print and turn into 3D stamps, which will then get pressed into metal clay, which will then get fired in the kiln, then polished and attached to the chain or what-have-you.

I'm watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix while I write this....I'm so glad this show is available now, finally.  I never watched more than a dozen episodes when it was on the WB a decade ago and I'm not willing to pay for seasons on DVDs or iTunes when I already pay for services like Hulu and Netflix, so I just kept wanting to watch this series but accepting the fact that I wasn't able to.

I'm finding some holes already, which I like, because I always wonder how long series keep their stories straight.  For instance, why does Rory have the same last name as her mother?  Isn't it typical that even if the mother and father are unwed, the child gets the father's last name?  Maybe I'm just ignorant.  And just now, Lorelai said she had Rory during a snowstorm, but they already had Rory's birthday and it was early fall...I find it hard to believe there was a freak snowstorm that time of year, even in Connecticut, but I guess it's possible.  So maybe they're not holes.  Great show though.

It's fun watching shows that were made before DVR...when a break for commercial is coming they actually come up with mini-finales that don't transition smoothly to the next scene, but wrap up whatever scene was happening before the commercial.  I love it.

!!! She just got a PAGE on her PAGER!  What year did this come out?  She mentioned streaming video on the internet, was there really a time when those two things overlapped?

I'll stop now...wow, I'm up late...I'll just finish this episode :)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Such a slacker

This week has got to be a record for procrastination on my part.  I'm not exactly slacking off--I'm busy from the moment I wake up in the morning...around 6:30 depending on my children...to this moment in the evening.  So that's 14 hours straight of doing stuff.  I have moments here and moments there where I'm able to chat with a coworker about things that don't involve work, and I have moments throughout the day where I'm multitasking and part of my tasks are for fun (like reading while I breastfeed or listening to a podcast while I vacuum), but I'm pretty freakin busy.  Even on the weekends.  The procrastination comes into play when my kids are asleep at bedtime or naptime.  I should be making jewelry, but I just don't have it in me.  I will, I've been getting bits and pieces done so I won't be miserably rushing to get it out after this weekend, but when I decided I wasn't going to finish it this past weekend I made a deal with my future self (the me sitting here writing) that I'd work in the evenings on getting it done so I wouldn't have to do it this upcoming weekend.  Obviously, that hasn't happened.  Maybe I can get myself to work on it tomorrow night.  Yea...that's what I'll do.  Tonight I got both kids bathed, vacuumed the floors and gave myself the rest of the night off.  And it's too late to mentally motivate myself to get back there and work on it now.  Tomorrow.  I'll work on it tomorrow night.  There, it's out there in the world and if I don't do it tomorrow, I'll have to write down that I didn't do it and I'll feel bad.  It's why I make myself lists half the time, not because I'll forget to do something but because I'll be motivating myself to do it by having to look at it when I'm crossing other things off and I'll end up feeling unaccomplished if there's anything left.  Kind of like the way looking at yourself in the mirror makes you feel guilty when you're doing something you shouldn't be doing.

I'm so tired, I could go to sleep...and it's only 8:30.  I'm going to read...I've been reading the same book for a ridiculously long time...months.  It's good, but so long.  And I'm a terribly slow reader so it's a bad combination.  I should go read in bed because I know I'll wake up at 4 am on the couch if I try reading out here.  Tomorrow is Thursday, which is only a day before Friday, which is my favorite day of the week.  And this is the last weekend I have to spend without my husband...he'll be home next Friday.  Finally.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Another Keyboard

I returned the keyboard and have another (same one).

Gotta say, my worry over this whole Ebola situation is starting to spin out of control.  I'm mostly convinced that we're all going to die from it in about a month.  Flu season is right around the corner...how many people are going to have the flu that think they have Ebola or vice versa?  I just can't stop thinking of worst-case scenarios.  It's pretty scary, I don't care how overblown you think the whole thing is.

I'm so tired...I slept horribly after the keyboard situation.  I was right in the middle of doing yoga (this special one I found on YouTube for stress relief, which has to be ironic, right?).  Then I gave up and never got any relief for this crazy lower back/sciatica pain I was having.  I ran on the treadmill for 5.8 miles, which I think aggravated the pains.  I feel better today but I slept horribly.

So I'm going to stop here...my dog is barking at nothing but he's probably pissing off the neighbors, so I should go deal with that.

Good night.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Come on!

My kiddo broke my keyboard.  Knocked it right off the place it was charging.  Son of a bitch.  That shit cost $95 (after taxes).  God damn it.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Retail Therapy

I went over the deep end after my disappointing morning and weekend.  I had some jewelry I needed to work on but ended up feeling sorry for myself to the point of lying on the couch during my daughters' nap and then permitting myself to two of my vices...procrastinating and shopping.  When the girls woke up we headed out to Best Buy in Arrowhead where I purchased a Zagg universal keyboard for my Asus VivoTab Note 8.  I really like it.  It makes my tiny tablet into a tiny laptop.  So even though I feel lazy and gluttonous and irresponsible for the things I didn't do today, I feel better than I did this morning.  I think if I had done everything I should have done today (jewelry, folding clothes, staying home) I think I'd feel pretty crappy right now.  Instead I feel like I reset my attitude.  Definitely not the healthiest coping skill, but I'm going to bed now and I'm not feeling like I regret the way I spent my day...and that's not bad, is it?

Lifetime Fitness (isn't worth it)

I'm glad I neglected writing yesterday.  Today's post would have been extra depressing if I made the effort yesterday to write about my excitement of getting a new gym membership.  I just finished my email cancelling my new gym membership.

So that's how my weekend went.  I had a big sale in the jewelry shop and thought it might be nice to start going back to the gym and using my jewelry sales to pay for it.  But that's not going to happen.  I ended up trying to get into yoga but there wasn't enough room.  So I got up and left again (after having some girl's knees in my face since apparently no one wants to scooch over to help a girl out).  Cried in the hallway, ha...then sat fuming for a little while before doing a measly 15 minutes on the stairmaster machine thing.  So I'm really really ready to have my husband home again so I could vent to another adult about how pissed off I am.  I just keep wanting to cry as I sit here and feel sorry for myself.  I cleaned my house yesterday, vacuumed, and now it's a cluttered mess again thanks to my 4 year old (typical, yea, but I'm in no mood to deal with cleaning up after her or relentlessly begging her to clean up after herself).  The weekend is almost over already and I feel more stressed and overwhelmed than I did on Friday.  I would totally take a day off of work and take my kids to daycare but I don't have any vacation time left because we were all sick a couple of weeks ago.  There's just a long list of things running through my head that I want to cry over.  And I'm in no mood for tough love or reminding myself that I control how I feel right now, and blah blah blah.  I just want to be sad.  

I wonder if I have the ingredients to make no bake peanut butter cookies.  Probably not.

Whatever to everything right now.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Nothing for tonight..



But isn't my daughter adorable?

I do have a lot to say, but I neglected writing it down and now I'm struggling to stay awake, so it's gonna wait until tomorrow.

Good night :)

Friday, October 10, 2014

Such a long week...

Today felt productive, I was able to get a lot of work done that I've been working on in pieces over the past few weeks, so it felt nice to see the end of some projects.  Plus it's a Friday and this is always my favorite time of week...the evening kicking off two days of slightly less responsibility (if you count having to chase around two kids for 8 more hours per day as having 'less responsibility').  I'm still sans husband so I'm going to buy myself a bottle of wine for the weekend and possibly rent a movie on Apple TV.

Last night I took my girls in the jogging stroller for a short/easy run.  I ended up doing 2 miles then struggling to find a place to stop so I could let my 4 year old out to run sprints with me but I didn't get outside with them until it was already almost dark (I'm annoyed at how early the sun goes down now that it's finally nice weather here in Arizona).  We broke the rules and ran around in the park near our house, even though the signs clearly say it's closed after sunset.  We had fun and she burned some of her always well stocked energy.  And no one arrested us.

I searched for scorpions like a fixated treasure hunter...it makes me want to take the kids out of the house as much as possible, which I find funny because I told my husband we'd probably never go anywhere (it's exhausting getting them in and out of car seats).

THIS...

was right outside our sliding glass door...see how his gross tail is all limp?  It was my first clue that he was already dead (not to be sexist, but I feel like all scorpions should be 'he's).  I got something to use as a weapon just in case and confirmed the fact that this one was already a goner.  It renewed my faith in having pest control come and spray along the outside.  

I'll be searching again tonight, no doubt.  Getting less sleep than I'd like for a reason I'd really rather not have to deal with.

At least I'm not losing sleep over Ebola...yet...

Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

More on Scorpions

Just found this while researching how to get rid of scorpions:


Read the top portion...I know, it's hard to look at this picture because of that terrifying creature, but these crazy people are calling it a 'wonderful creature'.  I'm almost tempted to research why they're good for the environment, but since the same article tells me to seek medical attention if anyone under 9 years of age is stung, I'm going to just go on my merry way and kill every last one of these things I ever see.  Wonderful creatures...ridiculous.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Still shuddering.

My shoulders convulsively shoot up to my ears every time I replay this in my mind...about an hour ago my dog yelped and jumped up off the place he was laying on the floor in our living room (the spot on the floor that's about 3 feet from where my baby plays on the floor).  His reaction to whatever had happened made me immediately jump to the correct conclusion...he was stung...by a scorpion.  Those evil horrible things that are possibly worse than bees because of their more venomous reputations (but luckily not as horrible in that they can't fly).  And there it was, blending in oh so cleverly with our ugly carpet.  The mother f'ing Arizona Bark Scorpion.  Doesn't even deserve the proper noun capital letters.  Come to think of it, it's probably not supposed to have the capitals...whatever.

My poor, brave, awesome lab/husky mix took one for the team.  If he hadn't been stung, I never would have seen that evil spawn of the devil crawling along like an invisible terrorist.  In my blind fear I decided I would be able to kill it using the remote control in my hand (it was one of those fancy new DirecTV ones that looks like a space pod or something broken off the side of a Star Trek toy ship).  The rounded curves only pissed off the scorpion and it started running back and forth trying to attack. Evil bastard.  So then I realized my rubber-soled slippers were right there next to me (not on my feet!! and also...why didn't I choose them as a weapon first??).  I smeared that son of a bitch all over our carpet.  But I haven't rested easy...no, not at all.  I've had the blacklight within arms reach ever since.  I might never walk around this house without it again.  Checked both girls' rooms, clear from as much as I could inspect (my older daughter has a habit of extreme messiness).  Checked every other square foot of the house just short of rifling through toy boxes and I didn't see another one, thankfully.  And I'm finally coming down from my adrenaline/fear high.  Please, please, please don't let my daughters ever get stung by one of those sinister creatures.

And my poor 9 month old was just getting ready to crawl...sorry kiddo, pack n' play and highchair for the rest of your babyhood.

I hate bees, snakes, wasps, fire ants and currently worst of all...scorpions.  SHUDDER.

Oh...and my hero dog seems to be doing alright..  He weighs 81 pounds so I'm not too worried about him. Other than some apparent mild discomfort, he is acting totally normal.  Poor guy...love you Ike.