tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86102441473136411952023-11-16T02:43:29.739-08:00There's still time, right?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.comBlogger161125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-29375145995201264012017-03-31T20:06:00.001-07:002017-03-31T20:06:07.971-07:00Whole30 - Final Stretch - 2 Days Left<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It took a LOT of willpower to sit back while my family pigged out on burgers, fries, and cupcakes for my husband's birthday.<br />
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I am almost done with my second Whole30 and for all the reasons I started it, I feel great. I feel like I have less stress, less cause for stress, and more control over my body, my mental health and my choices (both with food and otherwise). I wanted to feel like this, and I'm very happy I do. The only thing that makes me anxious is the possibility that when I'm done, I'll immediately go back to my old ways with food (I still crave junk food), which will end up erasing all this progress. <br />
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But I have a plan, and I'm feeling confident about it. <br />
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Only one indulgence a day (as small as a hershey kiss or as large as a cookie from Barnes n Noble, but only one...everything else I consume on said day has to be healthy and nourishing). Alcohol only on Fridays or Saturdays...even if I have a super stressful Tuesday, that's no excuse to crack open a bottle of wine. Every other meal/snack throughout the week should be nutritional.<br />
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I'm not gonna lie, I am very excited to reintroduce indulgences like a pastry or a glass of wine, and I'm feeling strong and confident that I'll be able to keep the indulgences in the parameters of the above plan. I'll also reintroduce sweeteners in my coffee/tea, because I really can't handle a cup of tea without honey or a coffee without a little bit of creamer. They'll be within reason and I think I can manage cravings otherwise even with a lightly sweetened English Breakfast tea at the book store.<br />
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Other benefits I've had from this Whole30...I've lost weight and inches. Maybe not as much as I did the last time I did Whole30, but I was breastfeeding then and weighed more when I started, both I think helped contribute to 10 pounds lost...this time it might be about half that much, but I'll report the total when I'm officially done on Monday morning.<br />
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It's nice to know I can come back to this "reset" every time I feel out of control. Now if only I could focus as much energy on other areas of my life (writing/jewelry)...I know I can, I just wish it was a consistent thing for me...like, my ideal life would be to have 10 extra hours per day so I could evenly split my time between family, work, writing and jewelry. But sadly, that's not likely to happen. If I could commit to allotting my time and making a habit of spending a little bit of my free time every day towards writing and building the jewelry shop, I'd feel accomplished. But it's so difficult to dedicate that kind of time every day. I've come to the conclusion that while my kids are young, I basically have to just stay up later than my husband and the girls, but when 10 PM rolls around and I have to decide between staying up an hour later than everyone to write or going to bed, bed usually wins out.<br />
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I'm going to boost my shop up again because it's easier for me to do jewelry related things with distractions than it is for me to write or edit.<br />
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Hoping this healthier mindset keeps me motivated and focused!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-48959838519564356892017-03-19T10:26:00.000-07:002017-03-19T10:35:30.536-07:00Past Halfway - Whole30 I feel so much more mentally strong at this point. I'm hardly craving anything at this point...once in a while I get a very brief, very tameable urge for something like a 5th Avenue candy bar or a bite of my kids' cereal, but they are more like muted suggestions now. Like my "sugar dragon" (that's what Whole30 calls it), is now more like a cute little puppy I can easily say no to. I'm starting Day 16 today and I've learned more tricks this time around than I knew back in 2014. For instance, in 2014 I bought Ghee and it grossed me out every time I used it. This time I made clarified butter and it's much more tolerable. I also started following Whole30 on Facebook and set it so their feed shows up first when I go on...which has led me to discover even more helpful tips to get me through this. For instance, they advertised a compliant brand (<a href="file:///var/containers/Bundle/Application/79D47E2F-2287-47E0-BABC-5C56A70104C0/BlogTouch%20Pro.app/ui/tablet/html/texteditor/www.primalkitchen.com" id="id_56c3_24de_3bd6_6b54">Primal Kitchen</a>) of mayonnaise and ranch dressing and I found a local grocery store that sells it. They both taste like the regular stuff...well, except the fact that the ranch dressing is WAY better than Kraft. I'm already almost a third of the way through the bottle in just a few days. <br>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I can tell I've lost a descent amount of weight and inches because my clothes are all looser and my belt is down more than a belt loop. I have steady energy every day and my emotional state is much more stable, which was really my main motivation for doing this. I'm not stressing out over little things as much and I'm able to move on from minor issues quicker. </span></div>
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In other, unrelated news, my sweet husband got me an <a href="http://www.apple.com/shop/buy-watch/apple-watch/rose-gold-aluminum-light-pink-midnight-blue-woven-nylon?preSelect=false&product=MNP02LL/A&step=detail#" id="id_b14a_d0a6_7c22_908a">Apple Watch</a> (I may have done quite a bit of badgering for it, because it wasn't like I <i>needed</i> it, I just really, really wanted it). My Garmin VivoActive HR was and is awesome, but I love gadgets, and I love Apple products because they offer reliability and functionality and good quality (if you're saying to yourself "I love my Samsung Galaxy, it has always been reliable" then you're either lying to yourself or you're a lucky anomaly). The only thing that has been making me hesitant about purchasing the Apple Watch was the battery life...and I've finally just gotten over it. The Garmin lasts up to 6 days, which is awesome, but the fact that I can download music/use Siri/set reminders/check my email/scroll through Twitter updates/play games/etc. with the Apple Watch finally outweighed my issue with having to charge it every day. I don't use the sleep function on my Garmin anyway...it never seemed accurate since there were nights I knew I woke up at 2 AM and couldn't fall back to sleep, then looked at my stats the next day and saw it reporting that I slept until 7 AM. I can monitor my sleep quality/quantity without a device. </div>
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There are some limitations with the Watch that I wish were more accessible. For instance, you can really only put music on the Watch itself, so if I want to go for a run sans phone (since there is GPS), I can't listen to a podcast or audiobook, both of which I love listening to while exercising. I found a workaround though. There's a free app called <a href="https://9to5mac.com/2017/01/13/watchplayer-play-podcast-episodes-apple-watch-speaker-video/" id="id_919a_1a89_d9fd_4f03">WatchPlayer</a> that lets you find and download single episodes of favorite podcasts, and it also allows file sharing on iTunes so you can drag and drop mp3 audiobooks. I had a bunch of glitches with it yesterday but today I wiped it and slowly downloaded files (patiently, it takes a while) one by one until I got the latest audiobook I'm listening to on there along with about 7 episodes of podcasts I listen to. I plan to listen throughout the week, then wipe it again next weekend and add fresh stuff. If I get this to work, and can get a good music playlist on there, it's going to be so perfect. Even if I don't, I still love it a lot.<span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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Now I need to go parent and clean...husband gets back from a Vegas trip in about an hour and I plan to take the girls to see Beauty and the Beast in theaters today. That smell of popcorn is gonna be rough.</div>
<div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-38640129891085115102017-03-12T08:57:00.001-07:002017-03-12T08:57:50.157-07:00Week One Done, and Weekend Two Almost Done...onto Day 9So there were a few major hurdles....for example, <a href="http://theresstilltimeright.blogspot.com/2017/03/almost-done-with-day-5-whole30.html" id="id_7de8_615f_e0f4_ba07" target="_blank">Day 5</a>....but now I'm already into my second week and starting to notice all the major benefits of this program. I haven't had alcohol for 8 nights, for instance...which for me is a big deal. I'm definitely the type who enjoys a glass of wine or a beer with dinner, but I'm also the type that indulges in those more often than I'm proud of. I wake up feeling guilty the next day because I usually also make other bad decisions after the beer, like eating too many chips, or having a lot of chocolate with that wine. <div><br></div><div>My waistline is slimmer, noticeably, after just over one week. My belt loop is down one notch. My energy level is getting higher (it's not incredible yet, like people on this program sometimes claim, but they're usually a little further in than I am now). To be honest, my energy level was never really the problem in the first place...I still exercised about 6 days a week, which I think contributed to my regular energy level. </div><div><br></div><div>My main issue has been my relationship with food. When I did Whole30 back in 2014, I was better about my food choices for a long time afterward. I made it a point to strive for healthier foods and be more mindful about my eating. But these past several months have been the opposite. I <i>know</i> I should be eating healthier but I'm choosing the worst possible food choices almost <i>in spite</i> of the healthy choices. So that's what I'm really working to fix this time around. It's working, I think, because I see the unhealthy foods and still want them and then redirect my brain to what I can eat and not those unhealthy choices I want to eat. I'm hoping that doing this for another 21 days will help condition my thinking to stop automatically choosing those unhealthy foods and will be a bit better at automatically choosing something healthier. Or at the very least, not eating either and not constantly craving something to consume. </div><div><br></div><div>My skin is feeling clearer, my sleep is like the dead, my mood is improved, and I'm pretty sure I've lost at least a few pounds (but I can't check that until day 31). Hopefully I'm feeling this positive for the next 21 days! 3 weeks left!</div><div><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_a953_10eb_6caa_52a5" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbmmrgBpMoxeAf0wGJF-Il9keTz7_BIEigMpm-rebpHuCdHCB0733y3aUTewTQie15mQVQM3GHS9GBHhp-6xdELLOFlcl1jvk_Hkausi20jEmmp5TpwdKKNHeqSjg_CwGk-2gyb4gak8k//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 373px; height: auto;"> <br></div><div style="text-align: center;">Scallops, mushrooms, green onions, minced garlic and salt/pepper in Olive Oil...yum</div><div style="text-align: center;">While family had pizza and husband drank beer. </div><div style="text-align: center;">I had a Perrier lemon sparkling water, which was also yummy.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_8eaa_62cc_cbd4_292d" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOk_3gXQ2mVbRRxgJcehr-WJVFfWpBplpntzQXqc-Hr4KjITBaJYWYwfCL_HHeeQO77xiDtg50YlKOdzIJ3oqm6VWXIPMaSWnHnpLoOREnrhXbSh8b8ycPvJrcHqcYJF-wdYE4YpYqVb0//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 254px; height: auto;"> <br></div><div style="text-align: center;">This is a Pamer's Chef ceramic egg cooker...you microwave your scrambled eggs...it's awesome.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-80042490135211069642017-03-08T16:24:00.001-08:002017-03-08T16:36:49.855-08:00Almost Done with Day 5 - Whole30 Craving WoesFor most of each day, I'm proud of myself <i>almost</i> all of the time, but there are moments where I get such insane cravings that I feel like I might actually literally lose control and eat a gummy bear or bag of goldfish or my arm sprinkled with sugar. I'm usually not <i>hungry</i> and I'm 90% sure I'm eating just about the same amount of calories as I was before this program, but my body really really wants those processed, sugary, indulgent foods....no more damn grilled chicken! <div><br></div><div>These cravings, though they're tough and really making me test my willpower, are reminding me that this program is working. There's a conditioning going on in my brain that is resetting the thoughts that tell me: "eat it, you deserve it, you work so hard and it makes you happy, so just do it". With enough days in a row of telling those thoughts "no, find something else to help you unwind and de-stress", I think I'll be able to process stress and emotions with ways that don't involve food or alcohol. I hope! That's the plan, at least. <div><br></div><div>So I swear to god, I was just browsing Google Images for a funny image to plug into this post when I found this:</div></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_fb9c_cca_92a6_8d28" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfjwDg_-4BlT-9TIp-wgHfIVQTJzktg8xI5PD3IZd2k0F_eazrtF26fTWN-uaaRfL_2H__9vyu5DBLI1WK2GPL25IcNDkvsfejRRbQOu3EghaZm8RT7-Vm8FR7A_gPlHE1nlaQ1oA4AZI//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 449px; height: auto;"> </div></div><div style="text-align: center;">Clearly the Day 5 cravings are normal</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Now it's time for some Whole30 dinner (leftovers...at least I don't have to cook! That's been half the battle so far for this girl who usually never steps foot in the kitchen for anything other than a "quick snack" from the cupboard or a cup of coffee/wine).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe I'll just go to bed really, really early so I can be on Day 6 sooner...it's gonna get easier, it has to, ha.</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-58219096258156934612017-03-06T18:26:00.001-08:002017-03-06T18:31:37.017-08:00Whole30 Round Two!<div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_c552_6130_9c0c_b012" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-rQfdVrxu9vVAvF0JsrmM5uUfznABIc0RCcM8rCpgLX3JYpZLrPfKZ_CgNCJHz7K1Se3xvAm11IcHx1VjTs1Pab8T0uDYXqDU3IIBWqiwpBHUfN6byc8s-jLeaXhUd590xrFD5cGS810//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 323px; height: auto;"> </div><div><br></div>I started my second round of Whole30 on Saturday. I'm just about done with Day 3 and I'm very happy with my progress so far. Granted, 3 days isn't a huge deal, but when you're going from eating HORRIBLY since the Thanksgiving holiday to consuming no sugar/dairy/legumes/processed foods/alcohol for 3 days in a row, the fact that I'm not crawling in misery to the cupboard for something with chocolate in it is impressive (to me). <div><br></div><div>On Day 1, I hadn't yet had a chance to get compliant food so I made do with what was in the house before heading up to Denver to visit a friend and her son with my girls. It would have been easy to just change my start date to Sunday but I had Saturday set in my mind because it was the first full day of my 34th year and also happened to be March 4th, so I stuck to my guns and made egg whites with veggies and olive oil for breakfast and a salad with 2 hard boiled eggs for lunch...I even packed the lunch and snuck my salad into IKEA. I'm most impressed that I made myself get up to make the eggs and get my food ready after a night of drinking more than a bottle of wine and eating WAY more than normal just to really indulge one last time before this second Whole30 journey. </div><div><br></div><div>I'm really happy I'm doing this. I needed to cut back on alcohol, sweets, snacks, unhealthy habits and even though "making healthy choices" was one of my New Year's Resolutions, it was like my mind gave in to every single itty bitty craving almost in spite of my good intentions. This was the perfect time for a Whole30. </div><div><br></div><div>So in other news, I got a bicycle for my birthday (like, I literally went out and bought it for myself on Saturday, after the Denver trip). Since I'm very wary about riding on the road (I'm convinced a car will hit me), I went for the cheapest possible bike so, in case I don't use it much, I won't feel as bad. It's a Terra (I think) 24"...for girls...haha. Turns out 26" wheels are just a little too intimidating for me and my 5'3" frame. It was only $99 and I wasn't getting my hopes up that it'd work well but I went for an 8 mile ride yesterday and <i>loved</i> <i>it</i>. I went up sidewalks until I got to Sand Creek trail and rode that for a few miles until I found a nice place by a beautiful pond and a bunch of ducks...sat there for a break and a snack (mixed nuts...no peanuts...and raisins). Then I rode back home and I feel like the bike in combination with the healthier diet has boosted my mood a ton. I've been in the worst slump of my life these past few months. I finally feel like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope it stays that way.</div><div><br></div><div>These are a couple of meals I made so far...I'm not used to cooking so I've been experimenting and am about 2 for 4 on yummy results. I'll only show the meals that turned out good:</div><div><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_f4b8_a24a_780c_a7fc" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjh1RRG8uN4CJaaTp34uct0p3ni-__vU4-Xo_b8lcBmh-J4MTAhWTQkMjP8Fjuk0KtDdjJzLOF64GvY81x8lzbSLC4tkcyzD3mR92UAh3ni_v7k36SM5LfGbKDWso3pP7Xt1CfSTavv8k0//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 558px; height: auto;"> <br></div><div style="text-align: center;">Grilled chicken with spices, Whole30 homemade mashed potatoes (with coconut milk, garlic powder, salt and pepper...turned out pretty good)...salad contains olives, cucumber and mixed greens.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_c5d8_a79f_4cfb_5e1" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCovdlLMJ2uqjEE7_Wsa0xWl_ZLRSUja7EvuOTM7OIRMcbwYEo5ntl1r9Bb0ToRnmjqTLaoHYfzxCL1_XzXVTRXp0ZsJFco4Msqaw6isaTwn3toEO3NqVSfQDSlfzYpwB_zNGi5sXEzfo//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 523px; height: auto;"> <br></div><div style="text-align: center;">All Whole30 compliant "spaghetti & meatballs"...the meatballs are ground turkey with spices and coconut flour and an egg and the "spaghetti" is cauliflower and mushrooms and a jar of spaghetti sauce from Target that's compliant (no sugar/weird preservatives/soy/things like that)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">I'm looking forward to the next 27 days...it takes my mind off of my mind. Working from home gives me way too much time to beat myself up about every little thing, so this is a very fulfilling distraction. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br></div><div style="text-align: left;">Time to read to the girls before bed!</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-6907951193557916962017-02-23T10:48:00.000-08:002017-02-23T10:48:18.176-08:00Jewelry Updates (and a Contest)I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it before, but I have a blog for my jewelry shop. I don't post there as often as I should, but over the past week or two, I've been creating a lot of new stuff so I've been adding photos and details about the new jewelry.<br />
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Since I really REALLY like the new rings I've been making (like, a lot), I am running a contest on my other blog. Here's a link to go check it out:<br />
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<a href="http://carmellasjewelry.blogspot.com/2017/02/contest-and-newly-added-mantra-rings.html" target="_blank">http://carmellasjewelry.blogspot.com/2017/02/contest-and-newly-added-mantra-rings.html</a><br />
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<a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/carmellasjewelry?section_id=21160615" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEga2ISWF2OIh5eT2rTCJ_vwGKOoHoWO1_usW_joyKlEB9Sv2-At0tVfVBDOdRWhu6q9Y1GT_MjQicRkOy2_W5KvZmFMs3tOw0ie_zwfppaMupOg2kZ7XQrxhVcmrLRRgtkY_RwHibeV_AY/s320/IMG_5941.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've never done a contest before but I thought it might be a good way to boost views on the rings. I just want to believe I'm not crazy for thinking my jewelry is something people would want to wear. It's like when I'm writing something fictional...I can go back and reread it and think "this is great" but then doubt myself when I get rejections from querying agents and wonder if maybe I just have really sucky taste.<br />
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In other areas of my life...I had bloodwork done last week because I've been feeling so off the past couple of months (anxious, not as excited about things as I usually am, feeling just blah most of the time...I'm still <i>able</i> to get myself out for a run most days and make jewelry and write, but I don't really <i>feel</i> the same about any of those things. It's like I feel less happy...and I want to make sure it's nothing medical before I go the mental health route). The damn doctor never called me this week so I finally gave up and called them. The medical center here at Peterson AFB made me call a nurse line that reads (and generally...borderline rudely, interprets) the results. <br />
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I have higher than normal bad cholesterol. So that sucks. And I had abnormalities in my urinalysis but she can't tell me what. I asked if I should expect a call from the doctor and she said the labs go to the doctor and if they think I need to start any medications, they'll call me, otherwise I won't hear from them at all. <br />
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What the fuck?? Sorry for the language, but how frustrating is that?? I may have borderline high cholesterol, but if it isn't high ENOUGH, I won't even get a call?? Disregard the fact that I might want to start changing my diet so the problem doesn't get to the point where I need to start medication, though, right?? Dicks. Military healthcare like this is the worst. I totally appreciate that it's free, but if it's doing nothing to keep me healthy, then I guess I get what I pay for, right? I'm sure if it were my military husband, he'd have gotten a call right away. But screw the dependents. Who cares if they're healthy?<br />
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Ugh...see what I'm saying? Maybe it <i>is </i>mental health...but I'm also crabby that I have to change my diet. I was already planning to do Whole30 on 3/4 (have I mentioned that? I did, right? See..memory is failing me too). Now I'm slightly paranoid a diet with a lot of protein and fat isn't such a good idea. I'm still doing it. Cutting out alcohol and eating way more vegetables will benefit me more than worrying about fat....plus in comparison to my diet now, it'll definitely still be healthier. <br />
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I sound like such a gluttonous bum. I swear, I'm not severely overweight, I'm just an emotional eater. And lately, my emotions barely have to fluctuate for my healthy motivation to disappear.<br />
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So if you've read all the way to this point, thanks for listening to me vent. Working from home makes it tough to vent to actual people, so this helps a lot.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-82700246912240992392017-02-16T19:58:00.000-08:002017-02-16T19:58:58.317-08:00Catching Up and Stuff<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="" id="id_2100_3e5f_b4c7_3c00" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGfjVJ718iqmIXVY4nXJajHt2HFAgrP8gdxoPVIL6iP6K0mbZuas9D1tNi-4VFFPNN5FCUwPDfxOq3BPqX-K3s3M_AATfEU9we_J1FE3fuVOpw2LqA5TkVrdEZ3wtB1YYBCUlILwTXk5c//" style="height: auto; margin: 4px; width: 272px;" title="" tooltip="" /></div>
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<i>My daughter colored this (she's 6...I'm super impressed!)</i></div>
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I'm eating a small heart of Russel Stoffer's chocolates that I traded a cupcake for with my daughter on Valentine's Day. I'm also drinking a second glass of wine. Healthy choices quickly became less desirable when I realized that meant less (to no) chocolate and wine. My mindset isn't on the right track to make healthy choices so I'm scheduling a Whole30 reset starting the day after my birthday.<br />
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My first full day of being 34 is on March 4th and I will start 30 days of no wine, (or alcohol of any kind), no chocolate, (or sugar of any kind), and no dairy/legumes/grains/etc, for 30 days. Basically I can eat meat, nuts, fruits and vegetables. And eggs. I did a Whole30 in 2014 when my second child was less than a year old. I was still breastfeeding then so I got away with snacking a lot more than is typically condoned on the plan, but I still lost a ton of weight and kept it off for a long time.<br />
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I'm just in such a slump. I <i>know</i> I want to eat healthier and <i>be</i> healthier, but then I cave under the tiniest of cravings. I don't want to eat a ton of high calorie, low nutrition meals and snacks, but then one tiny craving and I'm like "why not, I deserve to eat what I want" and all the good motivation goes out the window.<br />
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I feel like it's contributing to my poor mental health. I have this daily irking feeling in my gut that won't go away no matter how much I exercise or write or meditate or relax. It's just there all the time. It's slightly muted over the past couple of days but only because I'm forcing myself not to overthink anything. I almost feel like I have PTSD or something but I have no trauma to be post-stressing over (other than the fucking current state of our political climate, which truly gives me daily anxiety).<br />
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My doctor suggested anti-anxiety medication but I'm still mulling it over. I've always been a mentally unstable person but it's something I've kind of liked about myself. It makes me feel more unique.<br />
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But recently it's different..I have less desire to make myself healthier (mentally, physically, etc.) and that's really not normal for me. I had lab work done today so hopefully it doesn't turn out to be some medical thing. <br />
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I'm feeling very ready and excited to do the Whole30 again. It was really hard the first time but I definitely needed it then. I read somewhere on their website back then that: yes, it's hard, but lots of things are harder. Like childbirth. Or running a marathon. Or moving your family every 3 years to places that are out of your control. Or writing 50,000 words in 30 days. I can do all of those things, so I can do this. And I need to reset my mindset.<br />
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Just over 2 weeks from now. Last time I did it, I started it about 3 days after I decided I wanted to do it. I'm not sure if having extra time is good or bad. I'm afraid that this extra time will use up all my positive "you can do this" vibes before I even start changing my diet.<br />
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Here, this makes it super legit:<br />
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<img alt="" id="id_80d2_edd_38a2_e63e" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVBs2RjiqLhZQImoFSvoHZ8kwg9V9aPN3lnZE1nvdJKSt587dA1jHCAG9MIlJX0ToGykCq1aLy3VHyIdq2qdhAqfhy4Ko29l_Fo0wxvuC6Yd5LhBU-skLJDSmJY0oXavIB6WtgtBlIpxA//" style="height: auto; width: 417px;" title="" tooltip="" /></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-3703014993220751542017-02-03T18:10:00.002-08:002017-02-03T18:10:22.769-08:00Need to Get Back on the WagonI haven't been doing any of my resolutions. I haven't been writing, even though I set goals to get this book done by my birthday (March 3rd...probably won't happen now). I haven't been reading to my children. I haven't been making healthy choices (by any means, I am currently eating a lot of cheese curls and drinking a lot of red wine). I haven't been meditating or thinking happy thoughts or being a happy person overall. I haven't been editing. I <i>did</i> order some blank aluminum bangle cuff bracelets that I'll stamp phrases on about liberal movements and then donate the proceeds. Here's what I've got so far:<br />
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<b>This is what democracy looks like</b></div>
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<b>This is what feminism looks like </b></div>
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<b>This is what free speech looks like (NPR, AP, PBS)</b></div>
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<b>No Roe, No Go (planned parenthood)</b></div>
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<b>This Pussy Grabs Back (because this is hilarious and awesome)</b></div>
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<b>Peer reviewed science > your opinion (environmental organizations)</b></div>
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<b>Build Bridges, Not Walls</b></div>
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So hopefully I'll get those made and then listed sometime soon. The cuffs shipped today. </div>
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Otherwise...what have I been doing? (Or have you been assuming I've been lazily avoiding all these things I want to do with my life?). </div>
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I've been working. Working a lot. Two weeks ago I started working all day every day for a conference I had this past weekend. No appreciation for said work. No pat on the back. Just a whole lot of "we're all in the same boat". But did they pass on the thank yous? Nope. Then I had a big hefty newsletter to finish putting together (even though no one appreciates said newsletter either).</div>
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Anyways...tomorrow I'm going to a free Pikes Peak Writers Conference...it's a half day of awesomeness and I am going. Maybe I'll meet someone who thinks my writing ideas are awesome? Maybe I'll learn some amazing thing that helps me write more often, or get myself out there more, or get me an agent. Maybe I'll meet agents. Maybe it'll just give me a few moments of a day dedicated to what I want so badly to do (not joking, I even contemplating doing something illegal so I'd go to prison....where I'd have time to write. Seriously. But I have kids, so then I thought, not until they're older). </div>
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And writing this post has reminded me why I want to do all these things and make myself feel more satisfied and more accomplished and less like I'm not neglecting all these things I want so badly to use my time for. So I'm done with that shit. With feeling guilty for not working as many hours as the people I work with. I work full time hours and I am no longer doing more than that on a regular basis. I'm just not. And that's that. I will happily get my work done, but I deserve time to myself for my family and for my own personal interests. And my job already gets more of my waking hours per week than my kids and my interests, so I'll no longer let it have more than that. Regardless of what my coworkers do. I'm old enough to know how to separate work from home life. And I'm wise enough with years to know how very necessary it is. </div>
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Or I'll implode. I'm tempted to block certain people from calling/texting during off hours.</div>
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I love my job, I really do. But I also want my life. And I don't want one to overlap the other. So it won't. From now on.</div>
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Time to watch some comedian's new show (husband's choice...ughh...can't win them all).</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-11960805937501000642017-01-15T18:58:00.001-08:002017-01-15T19:08:28.215-08:00Healthy Choices are HardI lost steam SO fast this year. I did the guided meditations, still do them most days, but I lost my motivation to eat healthy. I have been reading more to my daughters, which is a win, and I've been writing almost every day (this is something I most want to do this year, I don't care if I gain 50 pounds, if I do it while writing every day, that's alright...I mean, it would kind of suck, but at least I'd have one thing to be proud of for myself). Okay, just to specify, if you're sitting there thinking "Gaining 50 lbs in a year shouldn't be something you get down on yourself for, it's what your image of your body is that matters most" then I call bullshit. Because if I gain 50 lbs in a year (without creating a baby in the process), it's not healthy...it's extremely unhealthy and will probably severely impact my overall quality of life...I don't want to make healthy choices to look good, I want to make healthy choices to FEEL good.<div><br></div><div>Okay, sorry for the tangent. </div><div><br></div><div>So I'm taking every day as a new day...writing some short stories, writing as much as I can toward my current manuscript project, exercising a bunch more (5-6 days a week ..for 2 weeks, haha). Haven't listed a new item in my jewelry shop yet that will serve as my "proceeds go to a charity that will be in danger under new POTUS administration"...but I'm trying to come up with something that will look good as a piece of jewelry but will also serve the purpose of making a statement. Haven't had any worthwhile ideas yet, unfortunately.</div><div><br></div><div>I'm extremely tempted to subscribe to Publishers Weekly as my birthday present (March 3rd...so a little while from now). It's expensive (in my opinion)...but I feel like I'll enjoy it and it'll help me understand the publishing side of writing better.</div><div><br></div><div>These new resolutions have sort of masked the fact that since 2017 began, I've made myself extremely busy. Getting up super early to exercise, working all day, writing/reading/spending time with the family every night, working late on a couple of fun work projects, socializing. So today was a lazy day, a free day between two days off (tomorrow is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day). We were supposed to get snow but that didn't really happen...although it's coming down now that the sun has gone down and we'll miss the pretty part of freshly falling snow. Yesterday I went to Barnes n Noble and went for a run, then we had friends over. Tomorrow I'll clean the house, hopefully work out at the gym, and hopefully go to Barnes n Noble again. But I'm very happy I had today to do nothing. It has been a very long time. I wrote, read, and laid around lazily for 12 hours so far. Cleaned a little bit, but not enough to make me resent it. Now I'm watching the Steelers with my husband. Gonna go make myself a drink. Probably go to bed early. One of those days I always wish for but rarely take advantage of...I'm the type that feels a major amount of guilt when I'm being lazy. I wouldn't let myself feel that way today.</div><div><br></div><div>So looking over everything, the real area I'm lacking is eating healthier. I suck at it. I drink too much and eat whatever I want all day long....damn it! I'm not overweight, but I'm gaining weight, and my running is slower. I also don't want to buy a new wardrobe because I keep busting out of the clothes I already own. Seriously...I discovered a hole in one of my favorite pairs of jeans yesterday (right below the crotch...it was worn away from my legs rubbing together...just the worst, right?)...then today in my other favorite pair of jeans, a pair that used to be loose, they are super tight AND the loop that connects to the buckle thing is ripping because my big belly is pulling it too tight. Damn it!! </div><div><br></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_b642_213e_b656_e6b3" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVFVnqOa25sKGsy9bld63YCEpfRL79j1LkS5Low-X-6UULyIQoJwKbwR69Nskus7U2PbVb3JzjOEP0g2vx0fzthpAB-yLOX__cAn2mZ4AVKgzWG74bBXt34ow7ixlOyfZV5ZIr0FQXFeI//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 532px; height: auto;"> </div></div><div><br></div><div>In summation, even though I'm doing good on MOST of my resolutions, this one is really in my face right now...gotta take it more seriously. </div><div><br></div><div>As I sit here drinking a third beer.</div><div><br></div><div>Ugh...</div><div><br></div><div>Oh well, Go Steelers!</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-67286218352062186952017-01-06T22:02:00.001-08:002017-01-06T22:21:05.041-08:00Meditation & Other Healthy Things2017 resolutions are going well. I have been trying to make healthy decisions and it has been enlightening and motivating. I went for a 5.5 mile run yesterday (which was Sunday, and I started writing this post on Monday while I was waiting in line at the grocery store) and listened to <a href="http://anothermotherrunner.com/" id="id_a341_86dc_c475_81ad">Another Mother Runner</a>, which motivated me to run, and not walk, for the whole thing. The episode was a recap of the year 2016 (worst year for most people I know...on a personal level, I got shingles, and a whole lot of other craziness went down that I won't write about here, but I survived it, *brushes sweat off forehead*). The woman (I can't remember her name) who hosts when they talk about books (I love these episodes...a conversation about books and running...could life be any better?). She mentioned the things she's been doing to get healthier and said she's been meditating for about 6 months. Sarah asked what her routine is and she said she's doing guided meditations with the help of an app called <a href="Insight Timer - Meditation App by Insight Network Inc https://appsto.re/us/d2whu.i" id="id_7abb_f634_dc47_556c">Insight Timer</a> That night, I downloaded the app and tried a guided meditation. It was 20 minutes long and I have never felt such immediate relief for something that ails me (in this case, it truly smoothed the edges of my anxiety to the point where I felt like a completely different person the next day). I've been doing it every day and while not every session provides those awesome results, it's still incredibly beneficial to my overall mood. <div><br></div><div><div style="text-align: center;"><img id="id_b04d_7a2c_1d0f_a44c" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiekk7Gq1qeaMhCyJlHMxPmTq5aHTj0bpB0P5SglPAnR5stI2JfmysszVjL03rHlYbG7tS9jAsk46DYNUs5_0vaQCVa1CLiCgbgfoJM9YSxHEeXcngm1QReJjVPl_P7g2EAZOTeagfqwKc//" alt="" title="" tooltip="" style="width: 351px; height: auto;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;">This is from my freezing run Tuesday morning!</div><div><br></div><div>I've also been making last second healthier decisions from little things as small as picking up a scrap paper that needs to be thrown away that I'd normally walk past to big things like exercising 5 days this week and eating healthier throughout the day. </div><div><br></div><div>I already haven't written every day...which sucks...I really do want to get to that point, but I need to be patient with myself. I haven't been tweeting much either because it's so disheartening to tweet and wonder if no one is reading. I know that's very likely the case with this blog, but I don't mind that as much because I'm not confronted with millions of other people happily conversing around me and feeling left out. This is a much more intimate way to get my thoughts out. </div><div><br></div><div>So I started this post on Monday and it's now Friday. I ordered a pair of AirPods just before Christmas and even though their delivery date was estimated for mid-February, they shipped Tuesday and arrived today. I LOVE them. That might be my next post. </div><div><br></div><div>For now, I'm exhausted...and still have a session of meditation on my list of things to do tonight.</div><div><br></div><div>Good Night, All!</div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-12155814921205515552016-12-31T13:55:00.001-08:002016-12-31T13:57:24.806-08:00New Year's Eve & Resolutions I'm here again to list my 2017 New Year's Resolutions. I do this every year and I never get discouraged with it when I quit most of my resolutions by February. That's still one month of being mindful about the things I want to do with my life and the things I need to change or improve to accomplish those things. So this year is no exception. Even though New Year's resolutions hadn't even crossed my mind until about an hour ago, I still jotted down 7 of them with that familiar giddy excitement I feel when I start working towards a new goal. If only this excitement could last well into the dull exhausted effort I start putting in when the end of the goal seems impossible to reach and the efforts feel wasteful. <br />
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Without further ado:</div>
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1.) Write Every Day<br />
2.) Get an Agent</div>
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3.) Add an item to my jewelry shop for which the proceeds go to a charity that will be in jeopardy (or severely cut in funding) by the new administration</div>
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4.) Tweet daily about writing and jewelry </div>
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5.) Write a blog post at least once per week</div>
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6.) Make healthier choices (for my body and my mind: less Facebook, less junk food, more mindfulness, more exercise, more reading, more journal writing)</div>
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7.) Read to my children more</div>
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I still work full time from home and my job is intense most days, so I realize that a lot of these will be tough to fit in to a daily schedule, especially with a young family, but most of these things really only require either motivation, or ~15 minutes of my time.</div>
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1.) Write Every Day: At least 250 words will be what I use to constitute writing every day. And maybe using some kind of habit forming tool (I have some kind of app I was using for this on my phone but then jewelry got crazy before Christmas and I had to stop doing everything during my free time but make holiday orders).</div>
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2.) Get an Agent....I need to re-query my finished manuscript and just keep chipping away at agents, hoping for it to finally happen this year.</div>
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3.) Add an item...I am terrified about Donal Trump. Terrified. I want to make jewelry (at least one thing) that allows the buyer to choose which charity the proceeds will go to (maybe one extra dedicated to environmental causes).</div>
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4.) Tweet daily....I love going on Twitter and reading tweets from likeminded individuals but I'm always really afraid to write my own tweets. I want to start doing this.</div>
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5.) Write a blog post weekly...to commit even more to this one, I just spent $5 on an app to facilitate this resolution with my iPad...I'm writing this post with it. </div>
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6.) Make Healthier Choices....This one is so easy, yet so hard...I want to drink less alcohol, binge eat junk food almost never, stop getting on Facebook every time I turn on my phone, read more books (I read a lot now but it sometimes takes me forever to finish a book), meditate, take baths, take walks, run, just basically know that when I'm deciding on an activity, a meal, a snack, basically anything, I have the freedom to make good choices or bad choices...and I want to make good ones so I'm less cranky, less sleep deprived, less lethargic, more motivated, etc.</div>
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7.) Read to my children more: I suck at this...mostly because I really usually hate kids books...like the short poetic type ones with lots of moral lessons piled on top...my older daughter is into the Magic Treehouse books and I really like their fast pace and adventurous stories so I just want to make it a habit more to read to them...since books are so important to me and I suck as a parent for not making it a routine for them.</div>
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So those are it! Wish me luck! If you are also resolving to change habits this year, I wish you the best of luck as well!! </div>
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Happy New Year!!! (I'm writing this post from Barnes N Noble...my favorite place ever)</div>
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<img alt="" id="id_75a4_a0a1_4161_ec03" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVkJLqP_2nkdUaX9tYrfDmfwlRO1l6k6kdIvumIHBdUGYZ3jUyjVqtn6nMlZB519q1qF33RScfoNnQUxpCtms8PpFxSVt3nMrWXG-2RS2RxeyeLWc26W2tHPQTYAgRPX-shNsXfdENN14//" style="height: auto; margin: 4px; width: 457px;" title="" tooltip="" /> </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-71268916116550328392016-12-01T10:59:00.000-08:002016-12-01T10:59:09.495-08:00Scrivener for iOS is AMAZINGSo I'm just now really taking advantage of Scrivener for iOS. I bought it almost the second it became available even though at the time I was only using an ancient iPhone 4S (that’s a long story…I had an android Samsung Note 4 and a little after a year of usage, it started shutting off sporadically…then so frequently that I couldn’t use it anymore and had to beg friends and family to send me an old unused phone…my awesome friend Laina in PA mailed me her old iPhone).<br />
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Even on the small screen of the 4S, it was a great program. A couple of months after the release, I splurged on an iPad Pro 9.7 inch (my husband was away and I was single parenting for 3 months…it was sort of my “thanks for doing all that” gift). Then our upgrade became available for the phones so I’m also using it on the iPhone SE (rose gold…it’s so cute and perfect and reliable and after all the issues with the phones over this past year, I am SO appreciative of all the things these amazingly smart devices can do).<br />
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On the iPad I started writing a new project for NaNoWriMo. Except I was still mostly still writing on the Windows OS (I also have a Microsoft Surface 3…I’ve got a disgusting addiction to technology)… I liked that I could still enter full screen mode on the Windows version of Scrivener. Somehow, that helps me shut out every other digital distraction so much better. <br />
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Until recently, that is. I was messing with my screen on the iPad version of Scrivener when I realized I could “zoom” in on my text. My issue with the full screen mode in iOS was that the text was so tiny on my big iPad screen. But zoomed in, and using the typewriter mode, and narrowing down the margins, and using my iPad smart keyboard, it’s like I can shut out distractions almost as easy as I do on the Windows version.<br />
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And the real thing I discovered recently and LOVE is the fact that when I tap on the word count, I can set an overall target word goal and a session target word goal. I’ve been telling myself I need to do 3 sessions a day of 250 words each in order to help maintain my progress and make this a better daily habit and this feature in Scrivener makes it a lot easier to visualize that progress, both overall and within each session.<br />
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I keep discovering all of these amazing things that Scrivener can do (on every version of it, haha…I’ve purchased all 3), and I keep falling more in love with it.<br />
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So yea, I highly encourage you to use Scrivener (they have a 30 day trial) if you like to write (at all) and also like to feel organized.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-35396775367595014332016-12-01T09:29:00.000-08:002016-12-01T09:29:03.865-08:00NaNoWriMo 2016, not a winner...I've written 28,798 words this month, so sadly, I was not a winner, but I still plan to write the rest of this book, and I'm starting to make writing more often a habit. <div>
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After the election debacle, I had a conference in Arizona, both of which seriously derailed my progress early on and I was never able to recover (emotionally or otherwise).</div>
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So here we are, it's December 1, and I knew about a week and a half ago that it wasn't in the cards for me this year. I still very much plan to write throughout the year because if there's one thing I learned from this year's attempt, it's that I feel like a better person, a more fulfilled individual, when I'm actively writing something new. </div>
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I downloaded the app "Streaks" on my phone and I've set it up so that I need to write 3 times per day for at least 5 days a week and it's helping me make it a habit. </div>
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So hopefully I'll have myself more prepared next November, because I truly love the whole experience of NaNoWriMo.</div>
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Until then, I'll be back often with random updates on my life.</div>
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Happy Holidays!</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-35684579843620408002016-11-07T22:16:00.002-08:002016-11-07T22:16:42.435-08:00NaNoWriMo 2016 - Day 7 (and briefly, Day 6)I wrote yesterday, I just didn't write here yesterday. I didn't even realize until I'd decided to call it quits tonight and came here to bow out when I saw that I hadn't even posted an update yesterday. It was a good day, too. Full day of cleaning the house, writing, and exercising (something I've been lacking in more lately). But I must have assumed I'd get around to posting here at some point and today I must've miss-remembered that I had.<br />
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Anyways...I'm so tired right now. I had a full day (with crappy sleep last night)...worked an insane amount in the 8ish hours of my work day (one of those days where I'm rushing through one thing so I can get it done and move on to the next...which takes a lot out of anyone...right?). Then had to work on jewelry tonight after picking up the girls from school. Then came here to write at 10pm. So I'm not even feeling back for getting under the 1,667 word count total for the day. It was close, and my average is still higher than that, so whatever.<br />
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Still loving my story.<br />
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Good night.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-86392469469423019852016-11-05T18:12:00.000-07:002016-11-05T18:12:19.633-07:00NaNoWriMo2016 - Day 5I got to sleep in <i>late</i> this morning. It's rare that I get up anywhere past 7:30 in the morning and today it was after 8, which is unheard of. Not that I didn't wake up a few times beforehand...like in the middle of the night when our 6 year old came in the room complaining that she's afraid of ghosts (we made the mistake of letting her watch the new Ghostbusters movie with us last night...she went back to bed when I negotiated that she could keep her door open and our door open, in case she needed a quick getaway to a safe place in the event that a ghost showed up in her room) and at 6:45 this morning when our younger one came and crawled into bed with me for 10 minutes before I convinced her she needed more sleep (it worked, which is also very rare).<br />
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After breakfast (made by the newly returned husband) and a fun trip to stores to get unneeded things (like the ingredients to no-bake cookies, also made by the newly returned husband) (and the ingredients to cereal mix, made by me, currently in the oven)...we got home and had lunch, then I got my younger girl to bed for a nap and I went out to Barnes n Noble for 3.5 hours to catch up on my word count. <br />
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I got to 2,550 words and feel mostly satisfied with the quality of what I added to my story. I'm still feeling like I have plenty of content and plenty of story line left to fill the pages. And I like my idea...the female protagonist makes "memory movies" in the future...no one spends real time with anyone else...everything happens remotely with virtual reality...weddings, birthdays, anniversaries...and she creates them out of nothing but photos, video clips, and requests from her clients. This way they can pretend they spent real time together with their new spouse or family celebrating a birthday, or friends celebrating a graduation, when really they only ever interact online. <br />
Human population numbers are low, birthrate is low, etc. But for the most part, people are happy. The female protagonist isn't though. And the male protagonist wants everyone to be happy. He wants to become the next president, and he probably will. He wants to do a good job, fix the country's problems, etc. The female and male protagonist get "matched" which means they're considered compatible by a system that reads and analyzes their user profiles, their online activity, etc. They've both had unsuccessful matches in the past and are both pretty much sure the system is a joke, but they like each other, despite themselves.<br />
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She gets framed for doing something that's illegal in the future (lying online). Gets kicked offline. He knows how dangerous it is to be offline and goes to look for her. Her best friend, the one who framed her to get her kicked offline, also comes to find her. She tells her she's met communities offline that are full of loving, good, innocent and harmless people, they're repopulating the world and she didn't know another way to get them help. She didn't want to put her friend in harms way, but knew she could influence the one person that could help these people.<br />
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Just realized I basically wrote another synopsis, which is basically the same as what I posted here a few days ago. Oh well!<br />
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I love November (not sure if I'll be feeling the same way on day 15, haha).<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-13128909818455476772016-11-04T17:36:00.002-07:002016-11-04T17:36:37.059-07:00NaNoWriMo - Day 4I came up about 450 words short today, but I'm feeling okay about it. I mean, tomorrow's a Saturday and my husband is finally home so I am completely at liberty to leave the house during my younger daughter's nap for up to 3 hours (or 3 months, if we want to be completely fair about it)...so I plan to set a higher word count goal for the weekend to get caught up and get ahead.<br />
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So for tonight (i'm getting dirty looks as we turn on the new Ghostbusters movie and I'm trying to hastily type this entry)...here you go:<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-79156823173265926762016-11-03T21:32:00.001-07:002016-11-03T21:32:25.579-07:00NaNoWriMo Day 3 - I am so tired.My husband got home from a three month training in California today. After the very crappy amount of sleep I got last night and the ability to celebrate the end of single parenting, I had mentally decided I wouldn't write tonight. Then he went to bed at around 9 PM and I thought, well, there's no reason not to write. So I did. <br />
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And now it's time for bed.<br />
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Yay me (even if I was literally falling asleep as I was typing full sentences)...<br />
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Good night.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-29523148557675885512016-11-02T23:25:00.000-07:002016-11-02T23:25:28.195-07:00NaNoWriMo 2016, Day 2Today was a lot tougher. When I went to pick up my younger kiddo from daycare they said she's been feeling yucky and that they wanted to check her temperature before I took her home. 101.1. Poor baby girl (she'll be 3 in January). I gave her ibuprofen around 6:30 after she laid pathetically on the couch for an hour looking like she wanted to die. I'm not the type to hold off on the medicine, I was just completely blanking on the fact that she should have something to bring the fever down. Within almost 30 minutes of taking her medicine she was up eating crackers and drinking milk (yea yea, milk was a bad idea). She went to bed around 8:30 seeming fine, with a cool forehead and all. Then at 11:15, when I was about 1,200 in on my word count for the night, I hear coughing coming from one of their rooms. I'm only hopeful for a second that it's just a mild cough, but then I hear the tell-tale sounds of flemmy coughing...knowing without a doubt that I'm about to be confronted with the thick smell of vomit. Poor kid threw up all over herself in the bed. I'll stop detailing the level of grossness because I could definitely go on, and even I can't stand the thought of it. My hands feel swollen and stiff from all the hand-washing. She had to get in the bath and was shaking like crazy...I felt so bad for her....it was all through her hair so there was no avoiding the tub. I bleached it after she got out, which I'm sure plays a factor in how uncomfortably swollen and stiff/dry my fingers are right now. Luckily for me, and maybe not so luckily for him, my husband gets home tomorrow from his 3 month training in California. I might only work half the day so I can sleep. I'm really hoping I don't catch whatever she has. I don't know what she has, to be honest. Usually when any of us get the actual stomach bug, we don't get a fever with it, but maybe this is an exception? She had her flu shot a few weeks ago so I'm assuming it's not that. She took a bath last night and drank a lot of the gross bath water (she does it all the time, even though I beg her not to). <br />
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So after all that, I came here to document that I still hit my word count goal for the day. Exactly 1,667 words. It was 1,666 but I added in an unnecessary word when I saw that I was only 1 away from the magic number.<br />
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Please don't let my daughter puke anymore...please help her feel better soon!! :( Poor little honey (that's what she would say to a "sick" doll).<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-4255821158997557542016-11-01T22:10:00.002-07:002016-11-01T22:10:50.228-07:00NaNoWriMo End of Day 1I'm here, feeling extremely optimistic about this new project and my first day's accomplishments. I always feel the most hesitant just before I'm starting something new. I have this idea in my head of how I want it to go, and I'm usually always afraid the whole thing will crash and burn before the end of Chapter 1. But tonight's beginning went better than I could have hoped and I feel like I'm off to a great start. This story is off to a great start. This is my synopsis:<br />
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And my Day 1 Totals:</div>
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It's already after 11 and I sat down to start this at around 8:15. Almost three hours for 2,000 words. Ouch. But I really don't need to average that many EVERY day, as long as I write every day for the next 29 days. </div>
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It's happening. I feel really, really good about this. </div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-11798193949882375382016-11-01T09:18:00.003-07:002016-11-01T16:41:40.743-07:00And then you blink, and it's NovemberI'm committing myself again this year to participating in NaNoWriMo. Fifty-thousand words in 30 days. I have been outlining an idea for the past few weeks, an idea that surfaced over a year ago and now I feel the same unavoidable urge to get it out as I did with my first manuscript. It's set in a future where people stop interacting in person and the human population keeps dropping. It'll be set from the point of view of two people (man/woman). <br />
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I'm listening to the NaNoWriPod podcast and feeling very frustrated with myself for not staying up until midnight last night to write. It never even crossed my mind, to be honest. After trick-or-treating with the kids and trying to fit in some mind numbing TV time, which followed a full day of work and editing my WIP from several years ago (I've been sending queries out again and have already been getting those form letter rejections, trying not to take it personal again), I was just exhausted. Actually, it's probably best I didn't stay up, since my 2 year old crawled in my bed at 1:45 AM for about 10 minutes before I forced myself to convince her that sleeping in her own bed would be better. It actually worked...she stayed in her own bed the rest of the night, but that short middle of the night interruption is something I'm not used to now that both my kids sleep through the night.<br />
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In conclusion, for better or worse, here's to another month of committing my free time to writing! Good luck to anyone else starting this adventure today!!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-38519620144197101702016-09-27T21:31:00.002-07:002016-09-27T21:31:59.937-07:00What a weekSo I never intended to do the calorie counting thing over the weekend, which is why I haven't been posting updates about it. Friday was a semi-decent day...the rest of the weekend was the same. I did indulge a bit more, but not to the extent that I was angry with myself the next day. <br />
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Then yesterday afternoon my car wouldn't start. I was in the process of picking up the kids...I'd already picked up my older one from school and we were getting a few groceries before going to the daycare for my youngest when the battery was clearly dead. I apparently have no skill at keeping calm and level-headed in moments like this (imagine if it had been worse!)...I freaked out, called the husband in California (like he'd be able to help)...I think I even called my dad, haha. Husband told me what I already knew...get someone to jump it. Luckily there was a seriously nice older man walking to his SUV, which was parked catty-corner to mine. I asked if he had jumper cables and he didn't, but his wife was walking to meet him and said she'd go find some...she works at the commissary and turned out to be a nice woman who had chatted with my daughter while we were checking out. She came back with the cables and we got the car started. <br />
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Then this morning, I very nervously tried the ignition before taking the kids to school. It started! So I left it on while taking the little one into daycare, just in case...and then dropped off the oldest at school before going to Panera Bread for my daily free bagel, coffee, and the business of calling the Dodge dealership to schedule for them to look at the battery. It's still under warranty, so yay for that.<br />
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They say to bring it in but that they're very backed up. I say, okay...be right there. Go get in the car...battery is dead again. This time no friendly older men around to save the day...I asked one random stranger who couldn't help me, and no one else was lingering in the parking lot and I wasn't about to go in to make an announcement to the Panera customers that I needed someone's car to start mine (although, I was tempted). So I called our roadside assistance. They showed up surprisingly fast and I was on my way to Dodge.<br />
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Those a*holes told me they were too busy to even attempt to look at it. Seriously?!? This thing is under warranty and the battery is only 2 years old..and I have no other form of transportation..what the hell am I supposed to do?!? They make me go up to the Chrysler/Jeep service department...which I do...and they basically tell me the same thing but they say they'll at least try to get it done. I can't help myself...I cry for a good 10 minutes after they take the car back. I'm thinking "how am I supposed to get on base to get my daughter from daycare? Why do things like this happen when the husband is away and I have no friends or family here to just call up for help?" (I do have one good friend but she had a baby about 3 days ago...so that's out of the question). So after feeling sorry for myself for about 15 minutes...I get over it and get to work with their surprisingly good wifi. I got quite a bit done when around 12:30 (3ish hours after I got there) they say my car is ready. Seriously?!?!?! I'm happy and relieved, but also pretty pissed. What the hell was with all the "we might not be able to even fit you in...this is going to take all day...we might need to shuttle you home..." talk??? Whatever...just give me my car.<br />
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And so that was the past two days. So I haven't been logging my food. BUT I did weigh another 0.2 pounds less this morning than I did last Wednesday morning. So that's good. And I definitely ate under the amount I burned today...but I didn't log, so I have no clue how much. I didn't snack after dinner. <br />
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Now I need sleep.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-55252606289894998432016-09-22T08:40:00.001-07:002016-09-22T08:52:57.867-07:00I'm Here for a ConfessionThree days in a row...three really good days. I woke up yesterday, weighed myself, discovered I'd dropped 3 pounds (I know it wasn't all true weight loss from just 3 good days of a modest deficit in calories, but I felt less bloated and fit better in my clothes) and my day went along as usual...just as good as the previous 3 days. Ate salad for lunch, went for a great run, did a little lifting, had a banana with peanut butter for my after workout snack...the day was going great.<br />
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Then I took my daughter to get chapstick at the Base Exchange (BX..found on most military bases..basically like a mini walmart for military members but tax free and sells a wide range of things, including wine) ......</div>
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I figured, why not have a glass or two of wine? I could fit it in my calorie amounts and I'd be fine. I think you know where I'm going with this. </div>
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I indulged....on everything I could get my hands on. Ate some tortilla chips with some cheese dip, then 2 packs of fruit snacks (sorry kids!), then finished off the last serving in a box of cheese nips. Drank way too much wine, and in the span of 3 hours I officially succeeded in disappointing myself. I even binge watched Bones (I missed a bunch of the last episodes of this summer...didn't realize it was still on). <br />
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So even though I'm struggling to get back on good terms with myself this morning, I'm back on the wagon...trying to dust myself off and get back in a good mindset. </div>
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It was like the combination of wanting to watch TV, having a fresh bottle of wine, giving myself a little slack on the rules, and seeing that progress I'd made in the morning resulted in a very reckless mindset.</div>
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Whenever I drink too much wine, I wake up in the middle of the night with barely any hope of falling back to sleep. I was up for the better part of 2 hours between 3:45 and 6:30 ...the whole time just regretting last night. Ughhh food and wine...why do you have to be so incredibly desirable??? I get now why people say they "cheat on a diet". I feel like the idea of wine and snacks just seduced me right out of all these good intentions I've had. </div>
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But the beauty of fucking up for one night is that it's just one night...today is a new day. And despite the crappy night of sleep, I still see myself going for a 3-4 mile run and staying within my calorie goals and definitely NOT drinking any wine tonight (or maybe ever again, haha). And now I've learned my lesson...when I'm restricting myself and decide to indulge a little, I need to remember that a little means <i><b>a little</b></i>...and that I will be very pissed at myself if I ever let myself lose all willpower like I did last night. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimQpBEXlYjxyNQ3wf71ZVgsAmJtyZwLNDaQ0Bh6kLgpvjQL712Dbt-RxbS6jCaG9chX7JxPusd8xRTRVqbqdI4YN_vV5G5FosSQA41gb074J1A0sBq9T8dRLia3Zm5BGIJ9j7Hhjw95aQ/s1600/Wine-Hangover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimQpBEXlYjxyNQ3wf71ZVgsAmJtyZwLNDaQ0Bh6kLgpvjQL712Dbt-RxbS6jCaG9chX7JxPusd8xRTRVqbqdI4YN_vV5G5FosSQA41gb074J1A0sBq9T8dRLia3Zm5BGIJ9j7Hhjw95aQ/s320/Wine-Hangover.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-69945386603502467482016-09-20T15:34:00.001-07:002016-09-20T15:34:41.753-07:00Super Yummy Protein Shake (tastes like a peanut butter milkshake)I had a good day yesterday...ended up going over 1,800 calories but I had a great workout and ran 3 miles, so I think I burned over 2,500. And I went to bed feeling kind of hungry, so I had to have had a deficit in calories. I've also started making this amazingly delicious protein shake with my awesome <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Ninja-BL770A-Kitchen-Blender-Processor/dp/B00NX5GHXI" target="_blank">blender</a>...all that goes into it are:<br />
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<li>1 tbsp natural Jif peanut butter</li>
<li>5 oz whole milk</li>
<li>1/2 scoop of chocolate whey protein</li>
<li>4-5 ice cubes</li>
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Oh my god. It's like the most delicious chocolate peanut butter milkshake but it actually serves a purpose and doesn't make me feel guilty. It has like 300 calories, but when I'm running 3+ miles every day AND lifting 2-3 times a week, it is good to get the protein (right?). And it's a super easy way to satisfy my sweet tooth <i>and </i>help out my muscles.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA1WI_4AZnhyG3KdnHmpWwZsrTMLSl3r4NJ5I2Q8pKYBCUXwBxIlIiD2pBiiaiED22CurmJ481iwR6rz9E0oMkzeCuUcPTvq7MrgFdlWWIz8Rvgqu0k3pQl6XY6Zlp5lrnc7ys5oGDcqw/s1600/day+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA1WI_4AZnhyG3KdnHmpWwZsrTMLSl3r4NJ5I2Q8pKYBCUXwBxIlIiD2pBiiaiED22CurmJ481iwR6rz9E0oMkzeCuUcPTvq7MrgFdlWWIz8Rvgqu0k3pQl6XY6Zlp5lrnc7ys5oGDcqw/s640/day+2.JPG" width="544" /></a></div>
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I had it with lunch yesterday and after a run today. It might be getting a little addicting, haha.</div>
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Fulfilled everything else on my list from yesterday except editing my book (I'm going to avoid it for enough days that I feel so guilt ridden, I vow to work on it for weeks at a time, which will last about 3-5 days). I did finish reading a YA book though....<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/17204984-between-the-lives/questions" target="_blank">One Past Midnight</a>...which apparently has also been published under a different title. I plan to start <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/28187230-the-woman-in-cabin-10" target="_blank">The Woman in Cabin 10</a> tonight. And no alcohol...again...ughhhh. I miss wine. But it just turns into a gateway thing for me with binge eating. Also...so...many...calories...</div>
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Here's to this lifestyle change! Other than cutting back on alcohol, it's very fulfilling and satisfying to feel more in control of my body and my appetite. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-63269946463221088012016-09-19T09:13:00.002-07:002016-09-19T09:13:59.765-07:00Day 2 with the Food JournalI had a very successful first full day of the food journal. My goals were to eat ~1800 calories and exercise at least a little. Here were the results of the day:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEOKduBVG61RWvfOea6iNq4Pk-3FO2_NQGrycTOjtg62YL2nZMtX80gqRqv5Yf0TlC7g4WUDzsrL2iVS4Anl6ukkkL0OP9CZ7Gm0jW-CoqpjEiCOa92fcnSzhYM1pBdh2JeceZIQyctio/s1600/food+journal+day+1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEOKduBVG61RWvfOea6iNq4Pk-3FO2_NQGrycTOjtg62YL2nZMtX80gqRqv5Yf0TlC7g4WUDzsrL2iVS4Anl6ukkkL0OP9CZ7Gm0jW-CoqpjEiCOa92fcnSzhYM1pBdh2JeceZIQyctio/s640/food+journal+day+1.JPG" width="538" /></a></div>
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For exercise, I took the girls to the air force base and ran on the trail for 2.5 miles with the little one in the jogging stroller (we have the <a href="http://www.target.com/p/graco-fa-jogger-xt-ts/-/A-16721757" target="_blank">Graco Expedition</a> but it's almost 4 years old now so I couldn't find a good link for it...we also bought it at Target for only about $90..just the stroller though, no car seat). The older daughter (just turned SIX on Friday!) got some exercise too with her scooter and she either raced ahead of me or trailed behind, but it was a great workout for her too. I tried taking her running a few weeks ago and she made the first mile look easy breezy...then I practically had to carry her the last couple of miles (I dunno, I thought 3 miles would be easy for her..if you knew her, you'd agree...she's like an energizer bunny).</div>
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The idea of coming back here and writing about the first day gave me even more motivation to stay on track, so hopefully I can keep this up as well. </div>
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<br />Since I started this blog it has been kind of following along with my life journeys...I pretty regularly come up with new goals and work hard towards achieving them (or fail miserably and quietly pretend I never started them in the first place)....so since that seems to be my thing, I feel like I should write about them to hopefully keep myself accountable (I feel like I've written that exact phrase over a dozen times this year alone). </div>
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Other than the food journal goal, I plan to finish editing my first manuscript (Earths Project) and hopefully have that done by Nov. 1 so I can do another round of NaNoWriMo...I successfully completed one round a couple of years ago with the help of this blog, so I am putting it out there in the world that I plan to do so again this year. </div>
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So here's to another good day...if I can stay away from having an adult drink this evening, it'll be a win for sure (I'm positive most of my major calories show up when it's after 7 and I decide to celebrate surviving a day of parenting and life-ing with a half-bottle of wine and buffet of snacks).</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUJyO6TCQHofc9IyCULt9-jV2nHy2CrtJkFB1dwu-4tcFVsnZuaQY19UQtU7f_q-fO4Tvte3jQRCUQOonBQrIKYg9MLtWXDxAO9URdgTg_M3hJBLJkkcUyboY3ihs85jGp6sEYjV1E5HY/s1600/food+journal+funny+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUJyO6TCQHofc9IyCULt9-jV2nHy2CrtJkFB1dwu-4tcFVsnZuaQY19UQtU7f_q-fO4Tvte3jQRCUQOonBQrIKYg9MLtWXDxAO9URdgTg_M3hJBLJkkcUyboY3ihs85jGp6sEYjV1E5HY/s1600/food+journal+funny+2.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b>Today's Goals:</b></div>
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<li><i>Edit book for ~30 min</i></li>
<li><i>Gym & run on base</i></li>
<li><i>Eat under 1,800 calories</i></li>
<li><i>No alcohol tonight & no snacking after dinner</i></li>
<li><i>Work (given)</i></li>
<li><i>Dishes</i></li>
</ul>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8610244147313641195.post-87244469525282416612016-09-18T14:04:00.000-07:002016-09-18T14:04:51.655-07:00I am keeping a food journalI always feel more invested in things like this when I put it out there in the world...so here it is. In 2008, I kept a food diary (on <a href="http://caloriecount.about.com/" target="_blank">Calorie Count</a>) and I lost more than 20 pounds. I have had 2 kids since then and fluctuated way back up again and way back down again (with the help of the <a href="http://whole30.com/" target="_blank">Whole30</a> diet...which I completed, though it was not easy and I'm very hesitant to try it again...one major reason is that I love alcohol and the thought of going 30 days without it again just seems ridiculous).<br />
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So with running (and training for) a marathon, I got into the habit of eating whatever I wanted. And I may not have gained much weight through that (and ate A LOT), I definitely didn't lose any. So now that I'm running less (only between 3 and 4.5 miles per run...but I've been running more often, almost daily)...I'm still eating a lot and feeling pretty down on myself. I also drink too much...not for alcoholic type standards, but there are a lot of calories in wine, so having 2-3 glasses on any given night AND snacking regularly like I'm some kind of calorie burning queen is not a good combination for me, or my body. I'm still at a healthy weight, but I suspect I'm at the high end of healthy...borderline overweight. <br />
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That's not who I identify as...and my clothes agree. So I started the food journal yesterday, this time with <a href="http://myfitnesspal.com/" target="_blank">My Fitness Pal</a> because I have a <a href="http://www.garmin.com/" target="_blank">Garmin VivoActive HR</a> and they play well together. I ate over 2,500 calories (that's including the 2-3 glasses of wine) and then gave up tracking what I was eating. But this morning, instead of feeling discouraged, I woke up feeling determined. I've done this before. I've done a million things <i>harder</i> than this. Not to brag, but I've pumped (breastmilk) while driving...I've breastfed and pumped while at work for 2 full years of my life. I've trained for and ran a half and full marathon. I completed one Whole30 (which really felt as hard for me as my first two examples combined). I've written 2 full books, one during <a href="http://nanowrimo.org/" target="_blank">NaNoWriMo</a> (not that I've been able to get either published, but still..). I've definitely had a crapload of determination to accomplish goals that I've set my mind to...so I can absolutely watch what I eat, set a calorie deficit goal, and lose 5-10 pounds (15 would be ideal). Right? Right??<br />
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Yea...so, I'm off to the base with my kids so I can run on a trail before getting some healthy food. I'll try checking in again with my progress soon (of course, if you don't hear from me, that's probably not a good sign).<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16988644752609498723noreply@blogger.com0