Friday, April 24, 2015

Microsoft Band and Strava

I was planning to get a FitBit Surge (I can't remember if I've written about that was something I wanted for Christmas, then my birthday, then I gave up on the idea because I didn't want the black one and they haven't yet made the other colors available).

I branched out and kept searching for another comparable device and landed on the Microsoft Band. It's also black, but it's thinner and more sleek looking in my opinion.  Plus the screen is colorful, which makes it more fun for me.  I've been wanting it for a combo Mother's Day/Anniversary present (which is obviously still a few weeks away...May 12th is our anniversary so it makes for some heavier weighted gifts this time of year).  I kept hinting to my husband that I wanted it sooner, since it just became available on Amazon a few weeks ago and kept selling out as a nice surprise, he got it for me last week while my parents were visiting us here in Arizona (they drove all the way from Pennsylvania for a week-long was a great trip).

So I got the watch last Thursday evening...put a screen protector on that evening (it needed to set for 12 hours, untouched, which is a super big bummer for anyone who has been wanting a new gadget for a while...patience is not something I have in abundance).  Started wearing it Friday morning and went for a run that day around lunchtime.  I left my huge Note 4 at home and loaded up my tiny little iPod Nano with a book and a podcast.  Having less weight, even just that small amount, for my run was so freeing.  I haven't taken my phone on a run again since.

Then, on Saturday, I came down with a miserable stomach bug (a lingerer from a couple of days before)...I ended up in bed all afternoon and felt almost bad enough to go to the hospital.  I got to catch up on TV though and Steve watched the girls and kept my parents entertained, and I survived.

So then on Sunday I rested and took it easy...Monday I did my first 'Guided Workout', which was something I'd researched about this watch and looked forward to trying.  The workout downloads to the watch, then you start the activity and it counts down each exercise and gives you your time and heart rate and calorie was really great.  I burned almost 250 calories in 26 minutes and I don't doubt the accuracy of that.  It was a really hard workout that I felt really proud of afterward...and if it weren't for my wrist tracking my progress and effort level, I don't think I would have worked so hard.  I was also really sore for a few days (I'm still sort of sore, but I've also done a lot of running and another guided workout this week).

As if this watch couldn't get any favorite running app (Strava, which I was sad to stop using when I started leaving my phone at home) is now one of the connected apps with the watch!  It was just announced a couple of days ago.  I just stumbled upon the news today so I haven't tried it out yet, but I immediately connected my band to their service and now I'm super tempted to go for a run tomorrow (even though I just went today and I am prone to shin splints when I overdo it).

Everything about the watch so far seems extremely accurate.  My heart rate on runs is always in the 150s, which feels right (I always feel close to death on a big deal).  It's tracking my sleep more accurately than I think my Basis watch did (I always knew I wasn't sleeping as much or as well as my Basis told me I was).  Unfortunately, I feel like it gives me low numbers for calories burned, but it's probably accurate, and my pant size and eating habits definitely reflect it.  If only I could get my motivation for avoiding snacks and alcohol in check, I'd be at a perfect weight.  One thing at a time.

All in all, I'm quickly falling deeper and deeper in love with this watch.  It's perfect for anyone who is as obsessed with gadgets as I am and wants a way to better track their progress with fitness.

Friday, April 10, 2015

What the hell is the point?

I'm going to be as obscure as possible here because I don't know who reads this (if anyone does...).  This week was a busy work week for me, I was running on this high of feeling extremely essential and today, during a little one-on-one with my boss, I was reintroduced with the knowledge that I'm still pretty low on the totem pole.  My boss literally laid it out for me (not intentionally, seriously, she complimented the crap out of me).  She has created a reorganization of the roles in our office.  And all of the people that have started working at my organization either around the same time as me or just shortly after me are in lead roles.  Except for me.  Again, I thoroughly believe this was not an intentional slight at my value to the organization.  It's just the way it worked out. this isn't as obscure as I hoped it'd be.

Since that meeting, in which I was able to view a hierarchy of my colleagues displayed in chart form that clearly depicted me as being 'managed' by more than one coworker, I have been feeling like a rotting pile of shit.  And this meeting happened to have taken place during the middle of one of my proudest work days since starting at this organization (please take this all with a grain of salt, I really do love this job overall..this is much more of a self-pity party than a complaint about my employer).  I'm currently migrating everyone in my office from a server where we were getting our email over to Microsoft Office 365.  And so far...the process has been a success.  Alright, it doesn't sound as impressive reading it back as it feels, because it's an annoying process...and it's taking FOR-EV-ER.

Anyway...I sort of hate the cosmic influences over my life because it seemed like the worst possible moment to remind me that I'm still never going to be professionally capable of much more than a supportive role.  Whether it be because my husband is in the military and I'll be changing jobs every 3-4 years...or because I had such high expectations for myself as a kid, or because I'm just truly incapable of impressive's just not in the cards for me and I'll probably never be okay with it.  It's like the world is trying to remind me everytime I feel my professional life gaining momentum that I should slow down and take it easy, I'm just a supplemental income in a pointless professional existence, and that's all I'm ever gonna be.

I feel like such shit right now.  I haven't been this upset over the outcome of what I've accomplished (or lack thereof) since I started this blog.  And work takes up most of my mental energy, so the writing sucks when I get this busy.  And the writing probably sucks anyway.  And the jewelry has been completely stalled (what the hell???).

I love my kids...I have to make it clear that this rant is solely focused on my disappointment in myself for not becoming anything.  Yes yes, shut up...being a mother is totally honorable, obviously.  But shut up, seriously.  We're all wouldn't say that to a father, I know you wouldn't.  If a father was complaining about not being successful enough you wouldn't say "at least you're a great father"'d be judging him for not providing for his family, you assholes.  Don't deny it.

Honestly...I haven't had this good of a self-pity/self-disappointment cry in too long.  I even have a headache from it.  Awesome.  And I get to cart my kids to work tomorrow (on a Saturday) to finish the IT stuff no one cares about.  Terrific.  Luckily, I almost certainly get paid less than all of my coworkers, and I get the least amount of respect at the job....Amazing.  Good thing I got that Master's Degree.  Stay in school, kids, it obviously pays off.

Alright, I'm out of tissues.  And all I want to do is curse now, so this is probably a good place to stop.