Thursday, October 23, 2014


I took my 9 month old for her checkup this morning and told the PA that she has been tilting her head to the side for a few weeks and during the checkup she said she was fine, perfect baby, no worries.  Then about three hours later I got a call that she wants her to have a CT Scan.  She wants to make sure there's nothing major causing the head tilt.  She isn't worried but now I am.  It's probably nothing but how can I not worry now?  It's extremely obvious and a constant thing, she tilts to her left whenever she's sitting upright.  So my lovely, adorable and extremely mild tempered baby girl will have to go through this weird it the one where they put her through the brain scan thing?  And it's not the first time she's had to have a test to see if she has a rare issue.  When they did her newborn screening she was flagged for CF and had to have a sweat test.  One of those moments where I cried for hours worrying she'd have a diagnosis that could give her a shortened life expectancy.  Ruling out these possible scenarios like a brain mass or a disorder that can affect her quality of life is wearing on me.  My beautiful little girl, she's fine, I know, and this will probably turn out to be nothing but I hate being this close to wondering if something terrible could happen.

So my husband gets back tomorrow.  Finally!  It's been tough, being a single parent of two kids...props to the parents that have this lifestyle on a regular basis.  Strongest people ever.

And I'm exhausted.  It's bedtime.  Big work event coming up.  So tired.

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