Everybody's sick again and other topics

Abby has another fever.  Poor kiddo.  This time I really think it's the flu.  I'm going to call in the morning to let them know and hope they can give her tamiflu or whatever that antiviral medicine is called.  The other girly is also showing symptoms, but I'm pretty sure she'd have to be on the verge of pneumonia before she'd slow down enough for me to check her temperature or worry about her.  The younger one is much more cuddly and sensitive.  Crazy how different they can end up even when you're using the same ingredients.

So the short story of January never happened.  I've regretted it several times this week.  I keep wondering if I should guilt myself into writing one and guilt myself into using the remainder of this shortest month of the year to try publishing it.  Not gonna happen, I can already tell.  I'm not even teetering toward taking it seriously this time around.  I do still want to use March for a writing month and get back on track with that.  I have been rereading my first project though...and I'm about halfway through...taking notes on it and everything.  I stopped tracking what I'm doing with writing related activities though, which I also regret.  I should do that tonight.  I will.  It's only February for crying out loud.

I have sort of started running more regularly (marginally).  I have definitely started reading to my older daughter pretty regularly.  We're almost done with the first Ramona book and I'm really enjoying the new tradition. I haven't done yoga once (or maybe I have...once?).

All in all...I'm feeling pretty good about the new year.  I have an awesome thing regarding jewelry that will take up at least a paragraph.

---Intermission...the video to 'Take Me to Church' is probably the most depressing thing I've ever seen.---

So a friend I work with was wearing this bangle bracelet about a month ago that had a few cool little charms on it...looked really nice...made me instantly create my own version of it in my mind (this happens often...I have a jewelry shop, so I can't really help it).  Then, over the past few weeks, I've spent almost every day building a whole new line of jewelry for my shop.  I honestly just discovered about two days ago that there's already a popular line of bangles with charms (Alex and Ani...I confirmed that my friend's is also this version on Friday).  I'm still going with my version though because I'm doing a few things differently.  For one thing, I'm relaunching the My Life charms I spent so much time and energy on a couple of years ago.  They're the stick figure charms I designed and drew and turned into stamps, which I then pressed into metal clay and fired in my kiln and polished up all from scratch:

I'm also going to use shaped metal pieces (from white copper) to create the clasp for the bangle...which is quite a bit different from the other line of bracelets.  The reason for my clasp is so the charms can be interchangeable.

So far, I've spent several nights making every astrology sign, all the 'My Life' charms again, hours of research on ways to speed up the processing time (I got a rock tumbler and everything) and I've even revamped old listings for the new bangle line...now I'm just waiting on the stainless steel wire to make the actual bracelets so I can photograph them for the listings.  I'm pretty ticked at both suppliers I've ordered it from...neither have shipped it yet and both have promised early shipment.  Gr...I mean...if you're going to promise something to a customer on Etsy of all places, you fucking honor that promise.  

Honestly though, the new bangle bracelets have me all tingly with that creative excitement.  I feel really confident that this will do well...I just hope a whole bunch of strangers who come across them while they're shopping for mother's day presents agree.  At least it's giving me a chance to try my luck at the My Life brand again.  I plan to pay for some social media advertising and I hope the fact that I'm making everything with a more affordable material helps make them more accessible for people.  I have a feeling people liked the silver ones (they got great feedback on Facebook) but the price was just too steep.  These bracelets will start at $30 and will come with 2 charms...then each additional will be $5.  This is all subject to change.  

So that's my news for today.  I'm excited.  It's all I can think about.  

(oh hey, if you're reading this and want to see more jewelry...click here: CarmellasJewelry)

That's Enough of That

Eight hours...that's how much sick/vacation time I have left, thanks to the sickness that has swept through this house last week and this week.  To be fair, I only had twenty-two hours left beforehand, but it pisses me off that I'm so low on time.  We get the week off between Christmas and New Year's, and if we ever work on the weekends, we get flex time, but I don't like getting so low on time off (I need to change the subject now or I'm going to go on and on about how angry it makes me that the United States has no standardized maternity leave...it's not MY fault that I'm among the gender that must procreate to continue our species...why the fuck do I have to use all of MY sick/vacation time to stay home and care for my infant while I heal?  Fucking bullshit).

So yea...and there's still a real possibility that I won't be able to go in tomorrow either.  Today was the first real day that my older daughter had this bug and she went to bed feeling really yucky.  My younger one woke up with a cool forehead, thankfully, but I don't want to hold my breath expecting the same of my four year old tomorrow.

Okay, so some of the things I've been wanting to write about...first...

Two days ago I was taking a walk (right before knowing how sick my baby was) and (for completely unrelated reasons) felt all levels of anxiety for the whole walk.  I even talked to my four year old about it.  She told me it makes her worry that I'll yell at her (I reminded her that she won't get yelled at if she behaves) and I told her some of the things that make me worry...she and her sister being sick (irony? I can never remember what things are truly ironic and what things just make me want to label them as such), work, jewelry, my teeth (seriously).  She listened surprisingly well but I still felt that mix of anxiety preventing me from relaxing, which is something I usually have no trouble doing on a walk.  Just as I was walking down the last block before our street, I noticed a post-it taped to a lamp pole.  It said 'Be the goddess that's inside of you'.  It threw me off guard.  For one, it rained the night before...a lot...to the point where there was enough water in some of the grassy areas that kids were swimming in it.  Wouldn't the post it be ruined?  I kept walking, thinking about how odd it was but not really internalizing it (I mean, really, the goddess?).  Then I saw:

I saw that and it actually crossed my mind that some future form of me went back in time to leave me that post-it on that exact pole so I could see it when I was feeling so full of worry.  And now, after two days of sick kids (while I myself am not fully recuperated), I realize how much that post-it saved me from going into these days feeling the way I did on that walk.  Instead, I started feeling better...and I kept those words in mind during these past two days (well, maybe not last night when my 8 month old was drooling and screaming and crying and I was crying as I processed the fact that my 4 year old was also sick and I'd have to stay home with them both today, but that was just a rough moment, they happen, whatever).  

So I've survived, and so have my girls.  And we're coming out the other end, finally.  And I still have a job (I think).  And hopefully I can go to it tomorrow, because I really, really, really need to get out of this house.  

The other thing I wanted to write about tonight can wait for another time.  I started listening to a short self-help audiobook about writing (Write Every Day) and I'm really liking it.  But yea, another time.

I'm having trouble adjusting to the fact that I don't need to be doing something at this exact moment.  No crying baby, no medicine to give, no clothes to fold (it took me 2 days to fold 3 loads), I can just sit here...or get up to pee if I want to.  So...I guess..I'll go watch TV now?

Good night.