What the hell? And parenting sucks.

This is by far the longest dry spell I've had in my jewelry shop in almost a year.  What the shit?  I don't understand.  I've been on top of listing new items, revamping stuff, promoting posts on Facebook and Etsy, but still nothing.  I'm getting a little offended, to be honest.  Anyways...that's all I have to say about that.

In other news...my husband is gone for a few nights for work.  I, on the other hand, have to handle our daughter's misbehaving attitude...please read this with the overtone of sarcasm it's being written with.  I'm not exaggerating about her misbehavior, but I love her dearly so I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea.  Here's the thing...she's four years old and today I had to sign a paper saying that I acknowledged the fact that she punched a kid in the face for getting in the way of her bubbles.

SERIOUSLY?  What the hell??  And this post really did start out with being more about the jewelry issue than the kid issue.  But yes, my goofy, incredibly intelligent, four-year-old princess closed-fist punched a kid in the face today at daycare.  I'm afraid they're going to kick her out.  Seriously.

So tonight she was forced to sit in her room and practice her letters.  No playing with her sister.  No talking.  No noise making of any kind.  And the fact that her fear of my wrath succeeded in instilling good behavior renewed my confidence that this is a controllable behavior issue, not one that needs medicine.  She's just a bad kid.  And it's our fault, I'm sure.  How could it not be?  If this were the kid of anyone I knew, I'd blame the stupid parents.

We try to give her the benefit of the doubt most of the time and we let her be her own little person...and she's punishing us for it.  So no more iPad.  No more cartoons.  No more fun and free-loving sappy parents.  No sir.  She's going to have structure now every time she sets foot in this house.  Or out of it.  I can't control how she acts at school but I can give her guidance and set limits when she's with us.  Lots and lots of limits.  Sorry kiddo.

I have the worst headache right now.  Time for some motrin and bed.

Today (edited to add: up to this point) was a really great day.

I should really knock on wood (I just did, for real), because I don't want some catastrophic thing to happen after I submit this post considering it's only 6:15 and both my kids are still up and I'm leaving to get pizza soon.  I guess I should say today up to this point has been a really great day.  Okay, I got really superstitious and changed the title of this post.  Whatever.

So the day started out early, like always, but it was shortly followed by pancakes, which is awesome.  They were funfetti.  I ran to Walmart (which was mostly empty at 8 am...the only way I can stand that place) to get a new tire for one of our jogging strollers...the single capacity one...then fixed the dead tire and we all piled into the car to go to Jane's first ever soccer game.  As a four year old with no experience in a team activity, she kind of sucked, but it was a lot of fun watching and getting to use our fancy camera to capture the event.  There was a lot of placating to get her through the whole thing without too many tantrums but all-in-all I think she enjoyed it and it was a good experience for her.  Abby had a great time too.

Naptime came next (yay! I always feel a little bad when I express my true feelings about naptime, but I know I'm not the only one who thinks kids were biologically inclined to nap in order to sustain the human race, because without naps, I think a lot of parents would go insane).  I went to Barnes N Noble and drank an iced coffee, read some of my Earths Project book and jotted down notes on it (why it sucked, then why it wasn't so sucky), then I wrote some of a short story I started after that one blog post a couple weeks ago...it's going well.  I even re-read a chapter of the book I wrote last year during NaNoWriMo and felt really proud of it...which made me feel a little less like I'm wasting my time (always an underlying fear I have about this thing I do).

I got home and played with my kiddos, then took Abby out in the jogging stroller that I fixed this morning...we did a slow 5K and I took a cool shower after (so refreshing).  Now I'm drinking a glass of wine and getting ready to leave to get the pizza.  So that brings us up to speed...great day so far, right?

Hopefully everyone stays injury and illness free for the rest of the evening so I can feel a little less superstitious about stuff.

Such a clean house

I didn't do very much cleaning last weekend, obviously...then I had off two days this week and took of a third...didn't do any cleaning then either.  Whatever.  So today, my house was gross.  Disgustingly gross.  And now it's so clean.  I feel bad for my younger daughter on days like this because she usually gets neglected and strapped into a high chair for as long as I can keep her occupied with snacks and iPads and empty paper towel rolls.  But I was able to mop, vacuum, clean toilets, clean bathroom sinks, dust, sweep off the back porch, make jewelry, feed kids lunch, all before 3 o'clock.  Sadly, the kids' naps are almost over, so I'm sure the house will look like a disaster again in about ten minutes.

They're up now and we're home from going to one of those huge local furniture stores (not IKEA, unfortunately).

I could probably go to sleep right now.  Finishing up some jewelry, then writing a little and taking the dog for a walk...then the weekend is over.  Bummer.

Oh, and I got a Kerastraight Ultimate treatment done to my hair on Friday.  Waiting for the shampoo and conditioner to get here in the mail tomorrow before I make a definite opinion about it one way or the other.

Man, I'm boring today.

Endurance

So I endured the insanely intense week and weekend of work.  We pulled off a two day fundraiser by working over 40 hours in a few days (that was just me...most of my coworkers worked 10 hour days or more for the week prior to the event, I couldn't justify taking that much time from my kids prior to the crazy long hours I knew I was going to work over the weekend).  I endured it happily, it was actually quite a bit of fun.  I lifted and walked more than I have since the last time we did this event (even back when it was only a one-dayer, it was strenuous).  I'm a little impressed with how much I can lift...I was putting bins full of cans, bins full of vegetables, boxes with six of these huge cans of chopped tomatoes up on a table over and over again, then getting them off to give them back to the contestants...I work the refrigerator truck, it has pros and cons...smells great and cools you off but the lifting is really tough and no one I work with understands how hard that gets after hours of it each day.  Anyway, it makes me feel so much closer to everyone I work with, going through events like that.  I was impressed by what we all accomplished with a minimal amount of office drama (I really hate office drama, but I like to be a supportive friend, so I listen to all of it even when I'd rather not).

I have two highlights from the weekend...well, both aren't really good take aways, but they're notable...The first was stopping a car accident on Sunday evening..we were driving a big uhaul type box truck back from the park to the office to unload and an idiot in a dark green car was driving down the road without lights on.  Neither the driver nor the other passenger in our truck saw him and we were about to turn right in front of the car.  I only saw it at the last second and screamed 'stop' several times...my coworker that was driving probably thought I was crazy.  Then he saw the car too.  That was scary.

The other highlight...oh wait, I just thought of a third...I hit a cop in the head with a large empty bin...whoops, total accident, he was coming in our mobile mini office and I was taking the bin out... hit him hard enough to knock him back a few steps...I felt really bad but it ended up being more funny than anything.

And the last was after all the things I did through the weekend, jumping off and on the back of trucks, lifting things I had no business lifting, driving gators around and almost getting in that accident...I end up with an injury from something as simple as slipping off the sidewalk while throwing away my water bottle on the way to my car at the end of the weekend.  I twisted my ankle bad enough that there's now a gross ball of swelling popping out of it.  It doesn't hurt anymore, and the swelling is only mild.

Even more difficult to endure was today's dentist appointment, but I lived through that as well.  So I'm rewarding myself for everything with an afternoon at Barnes N Noble, followed by my first hair cut in 7 months.  I LOVE getting hair cuts.  If I were a millionaire, I'd pay someone to play with my hair on a daily basis.  And clean my house.  And change my daughter's diapers...not only because wiping butts is gross, but also because she HATES having her diaper changed...cries incessantly.

I miss writing fiction...I attempted to start that short story back in January but never finished it.  I want to start one today for this month but I'm afraid to.  I'm afraid I'll never finish it, or I'll lose interest in whatever topic I choose, or it'll be terrible.  All reasons not worth my hesitation, but hard to overcome nonetheless.  I want it to be light.  Then I want it to be sad.  I was running with my dog the other night and I saw this girl probably around 12 years old wearing a very 12-year-oldesque outfit and had long thick straight dark blonde hair.  But she was riding a skateboard.  And she gave me the impression that she didn't care about anything but whatever music she was listening to in her earphones.  She looked above all the things that go on for kids at that age.  Not even really 'above' it all, but more just displaced from it...like she was just indifferent to it.  I wanted so badly to make her the center of something.  Maybe that's what I'll do.  Can't really hurt to try starting something now, even if I don't finish it, even if it does suck, even if I lose interest.  Can't hurt.

Work, work, and more work

Tomorrow is the first day of probably the busiest work week for me of all time.  Everyone at my job has been building up for it for months so I'm actually glad it's finally here, it means it's that much closer to being over.  Over the course of 3 days I think I'll be working over 35 hours.  The following Monday will supposedly only consist of unloading vehicles at the office and then us being able to go back home.  I plan to ask for the following Tuesday off as well.  I'm tired just thinking about next weekend.

Spending time doing things other than work, like running, reading my book, reading in general, and writing here are probably the only ways I'll be able to keep from getting overly stressed, even when it's hard to think about anything but work.  Unfortunately, even now on a Sunday evening with two full days of nothing but family and decompress time, I'm too exhausted to stay awake.  I feel like it should be closer to midnight rather than a little after 10.

One week from this moment and it'll be all over...good or bad, the event will have come and gone.  Just a week from now.  And hey, all the lifting and jumping up on a truck will be great exercise.  I need a good workout.

Time to stop trying to fight it, I need to go to bed.  Happy March (best month of the year!)

A Birthday

I'm turning 32 in less than a week.  I can't lie...I sort of hate birthdays now.  It's just a reminder that I haven't accomplished many of the things I really really want to accomplish with my time.  Obviously I'm thrilled with the fact that I have a beautiful set of daughters and a happy life and a job and no real true worries.  But when I'm being selfish about the things I want to say I've done with my life, I want a few things on that list to show true accomplishments that reflect something I'm capable of with my own abilities.  The jewelry is fun and I'm proud of it but it's not cutting it.  I want to make time to finish editing one of the projects I've written and I want to be able to focus on getting one of them sold.  But there's never any time.

Everything is taking all of my time.  Two kids (love them dearly, yes, of course), work (takes way way way too much of it), jewelry, exercise (when I spare time for it)...by the time I have done everything I'm obligated to do either with work, family, jewelry, cleaning, etc. I have about an hour of free and open time to do with what I choose.  And unlike that awesome month back in November, I'm letting that hour go toward TV or mindlessly looking online.  And then, before I know it, it's time to go to bed.

I guess I could start staying up late again but I really need the sleep now that everyone in my house keeps getting sick and work is requiring more of my attention.  Seriously...just one hour...if that...per day.  That's it.  And so now I look at people without children, or the version of me before children, and I think...damn, must be nice.  Again...I'm not complaining about children at all, obviously...but maybe Abby could cry a little less when I walk out of the room to pee.  And maybe Jane could not spend an hour every night repeatedly being told to go to bed.  Then maybe the time I spend with them would be a little less stressful and the time I end up with at the end of the day would be a little more productive.

Wishful thinking.

Everybody's sick again and other topics

Abby has another fever.  Poor kiddo.  This time I really think it's the flu.  I'm going to call in the morning to let them know and hope they can give her tamiflu or whatever that antiviral medicine is called.  The other girly is also showing symptoms, but I'm pretty sure she'd have to be on the verge of pneumonia before she'd slow down enough for me to check her temperature or worry about her.  The younger one is much more cuddly and sensitive.  Crazy how different they can end up even when you're using the same ingredients.

So the short story of January never happened.  I've regretted it several times this week.  I keep wondering if I should guilt myself into writing one and guilt myself into using the remainder of this shortest month of the year to try publishing it.  Not gonna happen, I can already tell.  I'm not even teetering toward taking it seriously this time around.  I do still want to use March for a writing month and get back on track with that.  I have been rereading my first project though...and I'm about halfway through...taking notes on it and everything.  I stopped tracking what I'm doing with writing related activities though, which I also regret.  I should do that tonight.  I will.  It's only February for crying out loud.

I have sort of started running more regularly (marginally).  I have definitely started reading to my older daughter pretty regularly.  We're almost done with the first Ramona book and I'm really enjoying the new tradition. I haven't done yoga once (or maybe I have...once?).

All in all...I'm feeling pretty good about the new year.  I have an awesome thing regarding jewelry that will take up at least a paragraph.

---Intermission...the video to 'Take Me to Church' is probably the most depressing thing I've ever seen.---

So a friend I work with was wearing this bangle bracelet about a month ago that had a few cool little charms on it...looked really nice...made me instantly create my own version of it in my mind (this happens often...I have a jewelry shop, so I can't really help it).  Then, over the past few weeks, I've spent almost every day building a whole new line of jewelry for my shop.  I honestly just discovered about two days ago that there's already a popular line of bangles with charms (Alex and Ani...I confirmed that my friend's is also this version on Friday).  I'm still going with my version though because I'm doing a few things differently.  For one thing, I'm relaunching the My Life charms I spent so much time and energy on a couple of years ago.  They're the stick figure charms I designed and drew and turned into stamps, which I then pressed into metal clay and fired in my kiln and polished up all from scratch:

I'm also going to use shaped metal pieces (from white copper) to create the clasp for the bangle...which is quite a bit different from the other line of bracelets.  The reason for my clasp is so the charms can be interchangeable.

So far, I've spent several nights making every astrology sign, all the 'My Life' charms again, hours of research on ways to speed up the processing time (I got a rock tumbler and everything) and I've even revamped old listings for the new bangle line...now I'm just waiting on the stainless steel wire to make the actual bracelets so I can photograph them for the listings.  I'm pretty ticked at both suppliers I've ordered it from...neither have shipped it yet and both have promised early shipment.  Gr...I mean...if you're going to promise something to a customer on Etsy of all places, you fucking honor that promise.  

Honestly though, the new bangle bracelets have me all tingly with that creative excitement.  I feel really confident that this will do well...I just hope a whole bunch of strangers who come across them while they're shopping for mother's day presents agree.  At least it's giving me a chance to try my luck at the My Life brand again.  I plan to pay for some social media advertising and I hope the fact that I'm making everything with a more affordable material helps make them more accessible for people.  I have a feeling people liked the silver ones (they got great feedback on Facebook) but the price was just too steep.  These bracelets will start at $30 and will come with 2 charms...then each additional will be $5.  This is all subject to change.  

So that's my news for today.  I'm excited.  It's all I can think about.  

(oh hey, if you're reading this and want to see more jewelry...click here: CarmellasJewelry)