Tuesday, November 3, 2015

I'm an emotional mess.

My 5 year old daughter and I were watching Disney short films this evening on Netflix and The Little Matchgirl came on...I must not have looked up until the very end when she was lighting her matches and seeing amazing things like food and a warm place to sleep.  Then she freezes to death and a nice old woman spirit (grandmother?) comes and carries her soul away....can you blame me for being emotional??

I spent the following 15 minutes trying to make my daughter understand how lucky she has it (in between choking sobs).  She didn't get it at all, which is good on the one hand, but also so depressing on the other.  I hope I didn't just scar her in some way.  I hope she'll be a little more cognizant of the fact that not everyone has the same opportunities as she does.  She's still so young...but she's well past the point that children living in poverty have already come to fully understand their situation.

Now I can't remember what I was planning to write about earlier this evening.  Oh...NaNoWriMo...that's a no go for me this year.  With work, jewelry, husband being gone, kids, house, moving in December....there was no way I'd be able to accomplish writing 50,000 words of a new novel without needing to be committed for some sort of mental breakdown by December 1.  I do have goals, however.  I'd like to really get a good chunk (if not all) of editing done on the Earths Project book I wrote a few years ago.  I've edited it two times already and it still needs an overhaul..but I still have confidence in the story and the characters and I've never given up on believing that it has potential.  So if I go through it again, maybe I'll be able to start querying agents again by 2016....then maybe (oh, please!!) I can get a book published when I'm 33....my favorite number is 3 (and it's more than just a preference, I really feel like luck happens for me when there's a 3 involved).

So now that I'm emotionally drained and can barely see through my contacts, I'll go pour a glass of wine and try some mindless TV watching.  Hopefully there's a new episode of The Affair available.

Good night..

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