Saturday, October 24, 2015

Ouch...and Saturday

My dog got a little overzealous when I was preparing him for our walk tonight and threw his head into my jaw when I was leaning down to put on his leash.  I was afraid I broke a tooth but then, when the throbbing in my entire mouth passed, I realized he only caused me to put a hole in my tongue. It's hurting a lot more now than it did right after it happened.

Sorry, gross photo, but it really, really hurt! Now it's all extra yucky looking with white patches and it hurts to talk.

Otherwise today was a really great day.  Went to the gym this morning where I took my time and spent a valiant effort working up a sweat and refreshing in some mommy time, sans children.  I ran 3 miles, walked up stairs for 20 minutes, then did some foam rolling and random strength exercises.  Took over an hour nap while the kids napped, which is rare, my body must have needed it.  After naps, we went to the pool then finished off the day with a walk and pizza.  Abby went to bed without freaking out for the first time in almost a week.  It was really great to sit down with a glass of wine without feeling guilty.  Right now my oldest is still making noise in her room, after 10, and I'm feeling slightly guilty for letting her play on her iPad too long.  

No husband wasn't horrible today.  I feel okay. They are both healthy right now, and so am I...I'm dreading the days of this separation where one or all of us gets ill with something major...I'll really struggle then...that's what I'm afraid of the most for this time apart.  Maybe we'll have the one and only Fall of our lives up to this point where none of us comes down with anything.  Sadly, I know that's very wishful thinking.

If only I could find time to write while Steve's gone.  And find something to write about.  I have random urges to spew out thousands of words towards something real, but then I remember I have no idea where to start or where to go with it even if I do come up with some glimpse of a story. I keep hoping something will reveal itself in the next week so I can do another NaNoWriMo but I'm also afraid I'll be too exhausted for it so I'm questioning whether I should even try.  All I keep doing is questioning myself.  In my journal, now here.  If I should commit to it.  If I should take a pass this year.  I keep waiting for some higher power to give me an answer.  And that's where I am...where I'll be even after I finish this post and go to bed.  No definitive decision either way.

Good night.

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