Friday, February 3, 2017

Need to Get Back on the Wagon

I haven't been doing any of my resolutions.  I haven't been writing, even though I set goals to get this book done by my birthday (March 3rd...probably won't happen now). I haven't been reading to my children. I haven't been making healthy choices (by any means, I am currently eating a lot of cheese curls and drinking a lot of red wine).  I haven't been meditating or thinking happy thoughts or being a happy person overall. I haven't been editing. I did order some blank aluminum bangle cuff bracelets that I'll stamp phrases on about liberal movements and then donate the proceeds.  Here's what I've got so far:

This is what democracy looks like

This is what feminism looks like 

This is what free speech looks like (NPR, AP, PBS)

No Roe, No Go (planned parenthood)

This Pussy Grabs Back (because this is hilarious and awesome)

Peer reviewed science > your opinion (environmental organizations)

Build Bridges, Not Walls

So hopefully I'll get those made and then listed sometime soon. The cuffs shipped today.  

Otherwise...what have I been doing? (Or have you been assuming I've been lazily avoiding all these things I want to do with my life?). 

I've been working. Working a lot. Two weeks ago I started working all day every day for a conference I had this past weekend. No appreciation for said work. No pat on the back. Just a whole lot of "we're all in the same boat". But did they pass on the thank yous? Nope. Then I had a big hefty newsletter to finish putting together (even though no one appreciates said newsletter either).

Anyways...tomorrow I'm going to a free Pikes Peak Writers's a half day of awesomeness and I am going. Maybe I'll meet someone who thinks my writing ideas are awesome? Maybe I'll learn some amazing thing that helps me write more often, or get myself out there more, or get me an agent.  Maybe I'll meet agents.  Maybe it'll just give me a few moments of a day dedicated to what I want so badly to do (not joking, I even contemplating doing something illegal so I'd go to prison....where I'd have time to write. Seriously. But I have kids, so then I thought, not until they're older).  

And writing this post has reminded me why I want to do all these things and make myself feel more satisfied and more accomplished and less like I'm not neglecting all these things I want so badly to use my time for.  So I'm done with that shit. With feeling guilty for not working as many hours as the people I work with. I work full time hours and I am no longer doing more than that on a regular basis. I'm just not. And that's that. I will happily get my work done, but I deserve time to myself for my family and for my own personal interests.  And my job already gets more of my waking hours per week than my kids and my interests, so I'll no longer let it have more than that.  Regardless of what my coworkers do. I'm old enough to know how to separate work from home life. And I'm wise enough with years to know how very necessary it is. 

Or I'll implode. I'm tempted to block certain people from calling/texting during off hours.

I love my job, I really do. But I also want my life. And I don't want one to overlap the other. So it won't. From now on.

Time to watch some comedian's new show (husband's choice...ughh...can't win them all).

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