Since I can remember, my favorite number has been 3. I'm a little more obsessed with this favorite number than most people probably are with their favorite numbers (or at least, I like to think I am). So tomorrow is a big deal for me....just like 3/3/03 was a big deal...but this one is a bigger deal because I get to have two threes in my age for 365 days. And when people ask how old I am, I won't hesitate and have to mentally count for a second or two (which I've had to do a lot). I'll shout it out like a little kid, maybe even hold up three fingers on each hand.
So I am pretty sure I'm the only one who gives a shit about my birthday. Which is fine, once you're past 21, who cares about any birthday? Steve suggested we take a half day and go out to a movie, then he got switched to a new position at his job so that idea never resurfaced. Whatever. Then he suggested I order the microSD card I need to transfer my iTunes library to (the one I'm using currently is full)...this "gift" costs a whopping $35. And lastly, he suggested we go to Chili's for dinner, my favorite.
Tonight I mentioned I'm going to get my favorite nachos there along with a margarita and my favorite dessert. He actually got mad about all these "things" I want for my birthday, said something along the lines of "you're getting that SD card, we're not gonna spend $100 at Chilis"..so I internalized a moment of deep hatred for his dismissal and annoyance at any day that should be dedicated to me (he's the same with Mother's Day and Christmas...gets all pissed that I should want anything).
It is what it is...and if he doesn't do anything special for tomorrow other than the dinner at Chilis (and doesn't complain anymore about it), I'll be fine. If he doesn't do anything more and DOES complain about it, I'll be even more disappointed.
This is what being an adult is...for me at least. Expectations being lowered or eliminated all together...when it comes to expecting anything of other people.
But I will be happy tomorrow, for myself, for being 33. I will start writing something new and I will indulge a little and let myself read or relax and not feel bad for making Steve give the kids a bath (I haven't even brought that up to him yet...but it's going to be one of those "you do it or it's not getting done" situations).
So Happy Birthday to me! Best age ever!
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