Then tonight, my husband falls asleep at 8 o'clock. I've been basically on my own, no other adult conversation (I have one co-worker that still chats with me throughout the day now that I work from home full time, and she was off for two days) for the majority of my time since we moved to Colorado. I have no friends here yet, I basically just talk with the daycare workers for about 10 minutes total per day...and my husband tonight, on a Saturday night, claims that he's always been like this and that I just have to accept it. I'm not wanting him to stay awake past 8 for shits and giggles. I'm asking for it so I can retain a bit of sanity. But apparently even though I've gone from working in an office with friends to working by myself observing those friends going on with their lives without me...while I just continue my work alone with no one to talk to ever, I should just get over the fact that he can't even stay awake past 7:59 to humor me...doesn't even care when he knows I'm feeling more lonely than ever right now. And this is HIS fucking fault in the first place. I didn't want to move from AZ. But this is what it's like when you're not in control of your own life. And I now have no friends, no social life, no one to complain to about this, no one who cares, not even him. And all I do is miss AZ. Like random small talk with people who don't even give me the time of day now...like if I text or email them, I'm being annoying now and they can't find the time to respond.
I'll admit, I'm miserable. So ridiculously miserable I can't even put it into words. I knew this might happen, and here it is, happening. And the fucking person I moved here because of is making it worse instead of better. My daughters love their daycare. That's at least a relief. But I'm miserable every day.
And no one even knows or cares.