Need to Get Back on the Wagon

I haven't been doing any of my resolutions.  I haven't been writing, even though I set goals to get this book done by my birthday (March 3rd...probably won't happen now). I haven't been reading to my children. I haven't been making healthy choices (by any means, I am currently eating a lot of cheese curls and drinking a lot of red wine).  I haven't been meditating or thinking happy thoughts or being a happy person overall. I haven't been editing. I did order some blank aluminum bangle cuff bracelets that I'll stamp phrases on about liberal movements and then donate the proceeds.  Here's what I've got so far:

This is what democracy looks like

This is what feminism looks like 

This is what free speech looks like (NPR, AP, PBS)

No Roe, No Go (planned parenthood)

This Pussy Grabs Back (because this is hilarious and awesome)

Peer reviewed science > your opinion (environmental organizations)

Build Bridges, Not Walls

So hopefully I'll get those made and then listed sometime soon. The cuffs shipped today.  

Otherwise...what have I been doing? (Or have you been assuming I've been lazily avoiding all these things I want to do with my life?). 

I've been working. Working a lot. Two weeks ago I started working all day every day for a conference I had this past weekend. No appreciation for said work. No pat on the back. Just a whole lot of "we're all in the same boat". But did they pass on the thank yous? Nope. Then I had a big hefty newsletter to finish putting together (even though no one appreciates said newsletter either).

Anyways...tomorrow I'm going to a free Pikes Peak Writers Conference...it's a half day of awesomeness and I am going. Maybe I'll meet someone who thinks my writing ideas are awesome? Maybe I'll learn some amazing thing that helps me write more often, or get myself out there more, or get me an agent.  Maybe I'll meet agents.  Maybe it'll just give me a few moments of a day dedicated to what I want so badly to do (not joking, I even contemplating doing something illegal so I'd go to prison....where I'd have time to write. Seriously. But I have kids, so then I thought, not until they're older).  

And writing this post has reminded me why I want to do all these things and make myself feel more satisfied and more accomplished and less like I'm not neglecting all these things I want so badly to use my time for.  So I'm done with that shit. With feeling guilty for not working as many hours as the people I work with. I work full time hours and I am no longer doing more than that on a regular basis. I'm just not. And that's that. I will happily get my work done, but I deserve time to myself for my family and for my own personal interests.  And my job already gets more of my waking hours per week than my kids and my interests, so I'll no longer let it have more than that.  Regardless of what my coworkers do. I'm old enough to know how to separate work from home life. And I'm wise enough with years to know how very necessary it is. 

Or I'll implode. I'm tempted to block certain people from calling/texting during off hours.

I love my job, I really do. But I also want my life. And I don't want one to overlap the other. So it won't. From now on.

Time to watch some comedian's new show (husband's choice...ughh...can't win them all).

Healthy Choices are Hard

I lost steam SO fast this year. I did the guided meditations, still do them most days, but I lost my motivation to eat healthy. I have been reading more to my daughters, which is a win, and I've been writing almost every day (this is something I most want to do this year, I don't care if I gain 50 pounds, if I do it while writing every day, that's alright...I mean, it would kind of suck, but at least I'd have one thing to be proud of for myself). Okay, just to specify, if you're sitting there thinking "Gaining 50 lbs in a year shouldn't be something you get down on yourself for, it's what your image of your body is that matters most" then I call bullshit. Because if I gain 50 lbs in a year (without creating a baby in the process), it's not healthy...it's extremely unhealthy and will probably severely impact my overall quality of life...I don't want to make healthy choices to look good, I want to make healthy choices to FEEL good.

Okay, sorry for the tangent. 

So I'm taking every day as a new day...writing some short stories, writing as much as I can toward my current manuscript project, exercising a bunch more (5-6 days a week ..for 2 weeks, haha). Haven't listed a new item in my jewelry shop yet that will serve as my "proceeds go to a charity that will be in danger under new POTUS administration"...but I'm trying to come up with something that will look good as a piece of jewelry but will also serve the purpose of making a statement. Haven't had any worthwhile ideas yet, unfortunately.

I'm extremely tempted to subscribe to Publishers Weekly as my birthday present (March 3rd...so a little while from now). It's expensive (in my opinion)...but I feel like I'll enjoy it and it'll help me understand the publishing side of writing better.

These new resolutions have sort of masked the fact that since 2017 began, I've made myself extremely busy. Getting up super early to exercise, working all day, writing/reading/spending time with the family every night, working late on a couple of fun work projects, socializing. So today was a lazy day, a free day between two days off (tomorrow is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day). We were supposed to get snow but that didn't really happen...although it's coming down now that the sun has gone down and we'll miss the pretty part of freshly falling snow. Yesterday I went to Barnes n Noble and went for a run, then we had friends over. Tomorrow I'll clean the house, hopefully work out at the gym, and hopefully go to Barnes n Noble again. But I'm very happy I had today to do nothing. It has been a very long time. I wrote, read, and laid around lazily for 12 hours so far. Cleaned a little bit, but not enough to make me resent it.  Now I'm watching the Steelers with my husband. Gonna go make myself a drink. Probably go to bed early. One of those days I always wish for but rarely take advantage of...I'm the type that feels a major amount of guilt when I'm being lazy. I wouldn't let myself feel that way today.

So looking over everything, the real area I'm lacking is eating healthier. I suck at it. I drink too much and eat whatever I want all day long....damn it! I'm not overweight, but I'm gaining weight, and my running is slower. I also don't want to buy a new wardrobe because I keep busting out of the clothes I already own. Seriously...I discovered a hole in one of my favorite pairs of jeans yesterday (right below the crotch...it was worn away from my legs rubbing together...just the worst, right?)...then today in my other favorite pair of jeans, a pair that used to be loose, they are super tight AND the loop that connects to the buckle thing is ripping because my big belly is pulling it too tight. Damn it!! 

 

In summation, even though I'm doing good on MOST of my resolutions, this one is really in my face right now...gotta take it more seriously. 

As I sit here drinking a third beer.

Ugh...

Oh well, Go Steelers!

Meditation & Other Healthy Things

2017 resolutions are going well. I have been trying to make healthy decisions and it has been enlightening and motivating. I went for a 5.5 mile run yesterday (which was Sunday, and I started writing this post on Monday while I was waiting in line at the grocery store) and listened to Another Mother Runner, which motivated me to run, and not walk, for the whole thing.  The episode was a recap of the year 2016 (worst year for most people I know...on a personal level, I got shingles, and a whole lot of other craziness went down that I won't write about here, but I survived it, *brushes sweat off forehead*).  The woman (I can't remember her name) who hosts when they talk about books (I love these episodes...a conversation about books and running...could life be any better?). She mentioned the things she's been doing to get healthier and said she's been meditating for about 6 months. Sarah asked what her routine is and she said she's doing guided meditations with the help of an app called Insight Timer  That night, I downloaded the app and tried a guided meditation. It was 20 minutes long and I have never felt such immediate relief for something that ails me (in this case, it truly smoothed the edges of my anxiety to the point where I felt like a completely different person the next day).  I've been doing it every day and while not every session provides those awesome results, it's still incredibly beneficial to my overall mood.  

 

This is from my freezing run Tuesday morning!

I've also been making last second healthier decisions from little things as small as picking up a scrap paper that needs to be thrown away that I'd normally walk past to big things like exercising 5 days this week and eating healthier throughout the day. 

I already haven't written every day...which sucks...I really do want to get to that point, but I need to be patient with myself.  I haven't been tweeting much either because it's so disheartening to tweet and wonder if no one is reading.  I know that's very likely the case with this blog, but I don't mind that as much because I'm not confronted with millions of other people happily conversing around me and feeling left out.  This is a much more intimate way to get my thoughts out. 

So I started this post on Monday and it's now Friday. I ordered a pair of AirPods just before Christmas and even though their delivery date was estimated for mid-February, they shipped Tuesday and arrived today. I LOVE them.  That might be my next post.  

For now, I'm exhausted...and still have a session of meditation on my list of things to do tonight.

Good Night, All!

New Year's Eve & Resolutions

I'm here again to list my 2017 New Year's Resolutions.  I do this every year and I never get discouraged with it when I quit most of my resolutions by February.  That's still one month of being mindful about the things I want to do with my life and the things I need to change or improve to accomplish those things.  So this year is no exception.  Even though New Year's resolutions hadn't even crossed my mind until about an hour ago, I still jotted down 7 of them with that familiar giddy excitement I feel when I start working towards a new goal.  If only this excitement could last well into the dull exhausted effort I start putting in when the end of the goal seems impossible to reach and the efforts feel wasteful.

Without further ado:

1.) Write Every Day
2.) Get an Agent

3.) Add an item to my jewelry shop for which the proceeds go to a charity that will be in jeopardy (or severely cut in funding) by the new administration

4.) Tweet daily about writing and jewelry 

5.) Write a blog post at least once per week

6.) Make healthier choices (for my body and my mind: less Facebook, less junk food, more mindfulness, more exercise, more reading, more journal writing)

7.) Read to my children more

I still work full time from home and my job is intense most days, so I realize that a lot of these will be tough to fit in to a daily schedule, especially with a young family, but most of these things really only require either motivation, or ~15 minutes of my time.

1.) Write Every Day:  At least 250 words will be what I use to constitute writing every day.  And maybe using some kind of habit forming tool (I have some kind of app I was using for this on my phone but then jewelry got crazy before Christmas and I had to stop doing everything during my free time but make holiday orders).

2.) Get an Agent....I need to re-query my finished manuscript and just keep chipping away at agents, hoping for it to finally happen this year.

3.) Add an item...I am terrified about Donal Trump. Terrified.  I want to make jewelry (at least one thing) that allows the buyer to choose which charity the proceeds will go to (maybe one extra dedicated to environmental causes).

4.) Tweet daily....I love going on Twitter and reading tweets from likeminded individuals but I'm always really afraid to write my own tweets.  I want to start doing this.

5.) Write a blog post weekly...to commit even more to this one, I just spent $5 on an app to facilitate this resolution with my iPad...I'm writing this post with it. 

6.) Make Healthier Choices....This one is so easy, yet so hard...I want to drink less alcohol, binge eat junk food almost never, stop getting on Facebook every time I turn on my phone, read more books (I read a lot now but it sometimes takes me forever to finish a book), meditate, take baths, take walks, run, just basically know that when I'm deciding on an activity, a meal, a snack, basically anything, I have the freedom to make good choices or bad choices...and I want to make good ones so I'm less cranky, less sleep deprived, less lethargic, more motivated, etc.

7.) Read to my children more: I suck at this...mostly because I really usually hate kids books...like the short poetic type ones with lots of moral lessons piled on top...my older daughter is into the Magic Treehouse books and I really like their fast pace and adventurous stories so I just want to make it a habit more to read to them...since books are so important to me and I suck as a parent for not making it a routine for them.

So those are it!  Wish me luck! If you are also resolving to change habits this year, I wish you the best of luck as well!! 

Happy New Year!!! (I'm writing this post from Barnes N Noble...my favorite place ever)

 

Scrivener for iOS is AMAZING

So I'm just now really taking advantage of Scrivener for iOS.  I bought it almost the second it became available even though at the time I was only using an ancient iPhone 4S (that’s a long story…I had an android Samsung Note 4 and a little after a year of usage, it started shutting off sporadically…then so frequently that I couldn’t use it anymore and had to beg friends and family to send me an old unused phone…my awesome friend Laina in PA mailed me her old iPhone).

Even on the small screen of the 4S, it was a great program.  A couple of months after the release, I splurged on an iPad Pro 9.7 inch (my husband was away and I was single parenting for 3 months…it was sort of my “thanks for doing all that” gift). Then our upgrade became available for the phones so I’m also using it on the iPhone SE (rose gold…it’s so cute and perfect and reliable and after all the issues with the phones over this past year, I am SO appreciative of all the things these amazingly smart devices can do).

On the iPad I started writing a new project for NaNoWriMo. Except I was still mostly still writing on the Windows OS (I also have a Microsoft Surface 3…I’ve got a disgusting addiction to technology)… I liked that I could still enter full screen mode on the Windows version of Scrivener.  Somehow, that helps me shut out every other digital distraction so much better.

Until recently, that is.  I was messing with my screen on the iPad version of Scrivener when I realized I could “zoom” in on my text.  My issue with the full screen mode in iOS was that the text was so tiny on my big iPad screen.  But zoomed in, and using the typewriter mode, and narrowing down the margins, and using my iPad smart keyboard, it’s like I can shut out distractions almost as easy as I do on the Windows version.

And the real thing I discovered recently and LOVE is the fact that when I tap on the word count, I can set an overall target word goal and a session target word goal. I’ve been telling myself I need to do 3 sessions a day of 250 words each in order to help maintain my progress and make this a better daily habit and this feature in Scrivener makes it a lot easier to visualize that progress, both overall and within each session.

I keep discovering all of these amazing things that Scrivener can do (on every version of it, haha…I’ve purchased all 3), and I keep falling more in love with it.

So yea, I highly encourage you to use Scrivener (they have a 30 day trial) if you like to write (at all) and also like to feel organized.

NaNoWriMo 2016, not a winner...

I've written 28,798 words this month, so sadly, I was not a winner, but I still plan to write the rest of this book, and I'm starting to make writing more often a habit.  

After the election debacle, I had a conference in Arizona, both of which seriously derailed my progress early on and I was never able to recover (emotionally or otherwise).

So here we are, it's December 1, and I knew about a week and a half ago that it wasn't in the cards for me this year.  I still very much plan to write throughout the year because if there's one thing I learned from this year's attempt, it's that I feel like a better person, a more fulfilled individual, when I'm actively writing something new.  

I downloaded the app "Streaks" on my phone and I've set it up so that I need to write 3 times per day for at least 5 days a week and it's helping me make it a habit.  

So hopefully I'll have myself more prepared next November, because I truly love the whole experience of NaNoWriMo.

Until then, I'll be back often with random updates on my life.

Happy Holidays!

NaNoWriMo 2016 - Day 7 (and briefly, Day 6)

I wrote yesterday, I just didn't write here yesterday.  I didn't even realize until I'd decided to call it quits tonight and came here to bow out when I saw that I hadn't even posted an update yesterday.  It was a good day, too.  Full day of cleaning the house, writing, and exercising (something I've been lacking in more lately).  But I must have assumed I'd get around to posting here at some point and today I must've miss-remembered that I had.

Anyways...I'm so tired right now.  I had a full day (with crappy sleep last night)...worked an insane amount in the 8ish hours of my work day (one of those days where I'm rushing through one thing so I can get it done and move on to the next...which takes a lot out of anyone...right?).  Then had to work on jewelry tonight after picking up the girls from school.  Then came here to write at 10pm.  So I'm not even feeling back for getting under the 1,667 word count total for the day.  It was close, and my average is still higher than that, so whatever.

Still loving my story.

Good night.