Facebook is evil

I really have a love/hate relationship with Facebook, minus the love half.  So many countless times in the mornings and evenings, and basically any other free moment of my day (getting gas, waiting for pizza, waiting in any line), I have found myself on facebook feeling disgusted by myself, by people in general, or just displeased with my overabuse of it.

It does sometimes make me laugh, yes....and it is my last strong link with people I no longer get to see regularly but still want to have in my life (especially considering I'm in a military family so there is a huge benefit to having a way to keep in touch and to keep my family and friends involved in our life).   But I seriously fucking hate it.  I hate that when I pick up my phone, it's the first app I open.  I hate that sometimes when I close out of it in search of something more fulfilling or substantial, I mindlessly find myself going back into it minutes later.  I hate that, more often than not, I'm annoyed or repulsed by the things I see people posting in it.  And for whatever reason, I keep going back.  It really feels like a sick addiction sometimes.

Maybe I really need to draw some lines for myself.  I feel like there has to be a healthy balance between keeping a link with friends and family while not feeling crazy every time I need to peel myself away from it.

Maybe I'll benefit from hiding the people that I really don't talk to anymore and never really talked to and plan to never talk to again.  Like cleaning my closet...clothes I haven't worn in forever and plan to never wear again get donated....I should do this soon.  It might help.  It might not leave much left in my news feed, but maybe that's another benefit to cleaning up.

As for tonight...Steve stopped and got me a coffee after Jane's soccer practice...I wanted it to keep me from falling asleep so early...I don't need over 8 hours of sleep every night...I need to feel like I'm not a huge failure in accomplishing the things I really feel passionate about, and in order to find time for those things, I need to create time for them.  And like in November I've found that, for now, the only time I can spare are these hours past 9 when everyone in my house (including me if I didn't have coffee) is ready for bed.  So hopefully after I finish up this rambling about nothing important, I can muster up my motivation and creativity and finish this short story before the end of March.

Wish me luck!

Everybody's sick again and other topics

Abby has another fever.  Poor kiddo.  This time I really think it's the flu.  I'm going to call in the morning to let them know and hope they can give her tamiflu or whatever that antiviral medicine is called.  The other girly is also showing symptoms, but I'm pretty sure she'd have to be on the verge of pneumonia before she'd slow down enough for me to check her temperature or worry about her.  The younger one is much more cuddly and sensitive.  Crazy how different they can end up even when you're using the same ingredients.

So the short story of January never happened.  I've regretted it several times this week.  I keep wondering if I should guilt myself into writing one and guilt myself into using the remainder of this shortest month of the year to try publishing it.  Not gonna happen, I can already tell.  I'm not even teetering toward taking it seriously this time around.  I do still want to use March for a writing month and get back on track with that.  I have been rereading my first project though...and I'm about halfway through...taking notes on it and everything.  I stopped tracking what I'm doing with writing related activities though, which I also regret.  I should do that tonight.  I will.  It's only February for crying out loud.

I have sort of started running more regularly (marginally).  I have definitely started reading to my older daughter pretty regularly.  We're almost done with the first Ramona book and I'm really enjoying the new tradition. I haven't done yoga once (or maybe I have...once?).

All in all...I'm feeling pretty good about the new year.  I have an awesome thing regarding jewelry that will take up at least a paragraph.

---Intermission...the video to 'Take Me to Church' is probably the most depressing thing I've ever seen.---

So a friend I work with was wearing this bangle bracelet about a month ago that had a few cool little charms on it...looked really nice...made me instantly create my own version of it in my mind (this happens often...I have a jewelry shop, so I can't really help it).  Then, over the past few weeks, I've spent almost every day building a whole new line of jewelry for my shop.  I honestly just discovered about two days ago that there's already a popular line of bangles with charms (Alex and Ani...I confirmed that my friend's is also this version on Friday).  I'm still going with my version though because I'm doing a few things differently.  For one thing, I'm relaunching the My Life charms I spent so much time and energy on a couple of years ago.  They're the stick figure charms I designed and drew and turned into stamps, which I then pressed into metal clay and fired in my kiln and polished up all from scratch:

I'm also going to use shaped metal pieces (from white copper) to create the clasp for the bangle...which is quite a bit different from the other line of bracelets.  The reason for my clasp is so the charms can be interchangeable.

So far, I've spent several nights making every astrology sign, all the 'My Life' charms again, hours of research on ways to speed up the processing time (I got a rock tumbler and everything) and I've even revamped old listings for the new bangle line...now I'm just waiting on the stainless steel wire to make the actual bracelets so I can photograph them for the listings.  I'm pretty ticked at both suppliers I've ordered it from...neither have shipped it yet and both have promised early shipment.  Gr...I mean...if you're going to promise something to a customer on Etsy of all places, you fucking honor that promise.  

Honestly though, the new bangle bracelets have me all tingly with that creative excitement.  I feel really confident that this will do well...I just hope a whole bunch of strangers who come across them while they're shopping for mother's day presents agree.  At least it's giving me a chance to try my luck at the My Life brand again.  I plan to pay for some social media advertising and I hope the fact that I'm making everything with a more affordable material helps make them more accessible for people.  I have a feeling people liked the silver ones (they got great feedback on Facebook) but the price was just too steep.  These bracelets will start at $30 and will come with 2 charms...then each additional will be $5.  This is all subject to change.  

So that's my news for today.  I'm excited.  It's all I can think about.  

(oh hey, if you're reading this and want to see more jewelry...click here: CarmellasJewelry)

Happy New Year! 2015 is going to be good.

I'm feeling all sorts of positive lately.  NaNoWriMo really has to get the credit.  I've always wanted to dedicate time to writing so for the three decades or so of my life that I wasn't writing consistently, I always had a vague regretful feeling on a day to day basis.  Like I was always neglecting some very necessary task.  But for the past two months, I've been able to sit back and relax, knowing that I've been diligently working on my second book and looking forward to all the possibilities that come with this new writing lifestyle.

So now every other task in my life is done with a more positive attitude.  Going for a 4 mile run today, playing with my daughters, watching a movie with my husband, online window shopping for a new tablet (that's sort of a disgusting obsession, but whatever), watching episodes endlessly on Netflix, cleaning, all done with a brighter smile on my face.  Because even if I suck, even if I'm writing things that will never be read by anyone other than me and the very sweet friends and family that offer (I should probably get them presents), at least it's fulfilling and it's something I feel passionately about.

So here's to the New Year and the possibilities that come along with it.  I plan to get started on my first short story sometime today.

I currently want the HP Stream 7...by the way...because it's only $99 and has full Windows.  It's a disgusting obsession that deserves that description twice in one blog post, but I can't get enough of these handy portable devices.

Oh, and I really want the Fitbit Surge.  That's something that will really happen, sometime soon, I hope.  It measures heart rate 24 hours, even during exercise, it has GPS, measures distance all day, comes from one of the best current fitness companies, even gives messages (I just reread that and thought I wrote 'massages', which would certainly make it the best-selling device of any kind of all time).

So in my defense, I didn't get much of anything for Christmas (a shower radio after the old one broke...okay, okay, so it's also a bluetooth speaker, but it was cheap).

Now that I've gotten everything off my mind, I'll go back to watching Gilmore Girls and deciding how to plan out my first story of the year.  Two more days off of work....this break sure is going fast.