Healthy Choices are Hard

I lost steam SO fast this year. I did the guided meditations, still do them most days, but I lost my motivation to eat healthy. I have been reading more to my daughters, which is a win, and I've been writing almost every day (this is something I most want to do this year, I don't care if I gain 50 pounds, if I do it while writing every day, that's alright...I mean, it would kind of suck, but at least I'd have one thing to be proud of for myself). Okay, just to specify, if you're sitting there thinking "Gaining 50 lbs in a year shouldn't be something you get down on yourself for, it's what your image of your body is that matters most" then I call bullshit. Because if I gain 50 lbs in a year (without creating a baby in the process), it's not healthy...it's extremely unhealthy and will probably severely impact my overall quality of life...I don't want to make healthy choices to look good, I want to make healthy choices to FEEL good.

Okay, sorry for the tangent. 

So I'm taking every day as a new day...writing some short stories, writing as much as I can toward my current manuscript project, exercising a bunch more (5-6 days a week ..for 2 weeks, haha). Haven't listed a new item in my jewelry shop yet that will serve as my "proceeds go to a charity that will be in danger under new POTUS administration"...but I'm trying to come up with something that will look good as a piece of jewelry but will also serve the purpose of making a statement. Haven't had any worthwhile ideas yet, unfortunately.

I'm extremely tempted to subscribe to Publishers Weekly as my birthday present (March 3rd...so a little while from now). It's expensive (in my opinion)...but I feel like I'll enjoy it and it'll help me understand the publishing side of writing better.

These new resolutions have sort of masked the fact that since 2017 began, I've made myself extremely busy. Getting up super early to exercise, working all day, writing/reading/spending time with the family every night, working late on a couple of fun work projects, socializing. So today was a lazy day, a free day between two days off (tomorrow is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day). We were supposed to get snow but that didn't really happen...although it's coming down now that the sun has gone down and we'll miss the pretty part of freshly falling snow. Yesterday I went to Barnes n Noble and went for a run, then we had friends over. Tomorrow I'll clean the house, hopefully work out at the gym, and hopefully go to Barnes n Noble again. But I'm very happy I had today to do nothing. It has been a very long time. I wrote, read, and laid around lazily for 12 hours so far. Cleaned a little bit, but not enough to make me resent it.  Now I'm watching the Steelers with my husband. Gonna go make myself a drink. Probably go to bed early. One of those days I always wish for but rarely take advantage of...I'm the type that feels a major amount of guilt when I'm being lazy. I wouldn't let myself feel that way today.

So looking over everything, the real area I'm lacking is eating healthier. I suck at it. I drink too much and eat whatever I want all day long....damn it! I'm not overweight, but I'm gaining weight, and my running is slower. I also don't want to buy a new wardrobe because I keep busting out of the clothes I already own. Seriously...I discovered a hole in one of my favorite pairs of jeans yesterday (right below the crotch...it was worn away from my legs rubbing together...just the worst, right?)...then today in my other favorite pair of jeans, a pair that used to be loose, they are super tight AND the loop that connects to the buckle thing is ripping because my big belly is pulling it too tight. Damn it!! 

 

In summation, even though I'm doing good on MOST of my resolutions, this one is really in my face right now...gotta take it more seriously. 

As I sit here drinking a third beer.

Ugh...

Oh well, Go Steelers!

Meditation & Other Healthy Things

2017 resolutions are going well. I have been trying to make healthy decisions and it has been enlightening and motivating. I went for a 5.5 mile run yesterday (which was Sunday, and I started writing this post on Monday while I was waiting in line at the grocery store) and listened to Another Mother Runner, which motivated me to run, and not walk, for the whole thing.  The episode was a recap of the year 2016 (worst year for most people I know...on a personal level, I got shingles, and a whole lot of other craziness went down that I won't write about here, but I survived it, *brushes sweat off forehead*).  The woman (I can't remember her name) who hosts when they talk about books (I love these episodes...a conversation about books and running...could life be any better?). She mentioned the things she's been doing to get healthier and said she's been meditating for about 6 months. Sarah asked what her routine is and she said she's doing guided meditations with the help of an app called Insight Timer  That night, I downloaded the app and tried a guided meditation. It was 20 minutes long and I have never felt such immediate relief for something that ails me (in this case, it truly smoothed the edges of my anxiety to the point where I felt like a completely different person the next day).  I've been doing it every day and while not every session provides those awesome results, it's still incredibly beneficial to my overall mood.  

 

This is from my freezing run Tuesday morning!

I've also been making last second healthier decisions from little things as small as picking up a scrap paper that needs to be thrown away that I'd normally walk past to big things like exercising 5 days this week and eating healthier throughout the day. 

I already haven't written every day...which sucks...I really do want to get to that point, but I need to be patient with myself.  I haven't been tweeting much either because it's so disheartening to tweet and wonder if no one is reading.  I know that's very likely the case with this blog, but I don't mind that as much because I'm not confronted with millions of other people happily conversing around me and feeling left out.  This is a much more intimate way to get my thoughts out. 

So I started this post on Monday and it's now Friday. I ordered a pair of AirPods just before Christmas and even though their delivery date was estimated for mid-February, they shipped Tuesday and arrived today. I LOVE them.  That might be my next post.  

For now, I'm exhausted...and still have a session of meditation on my list of things to do tonight.

Good Night, All!